:bang: well my name is kim and i am bi....well i dont no if i want to come out yet cause of my family....i mean my mom is a very understanding person but i think she will take this way out of porportion..... well let me start with my story...well i have been bi i think sence i have been like 10...i mean i have just had an interest in guys and girls....well my first real contact with a girl was when i was 14 and i was at my moms house nad she had a gay friend and we kinda had a thing going on....and it was like a crush but then again like a first love for a girl...i mean i have liked her sence i met her...and it didnt make anything better when we acually had sexaul contack cause all she did was leave...i mean she would have stayed around but my mom was having trouble and we were having problems.....i have wanted to tell my mom for the longest time ....i mean i am just scared of the way she will take it...i mean a lil everyday i loose interest in guys and gain more interest in girls.....and i am so confused right now that i am likely to have a breakdown.....i mean the only one in my family that nos is my cuz josh....and he is gay...and he has the same problem to about telling his mom about his sexualaity....so we have alot in commen....i mean my whole family already hates me now cause of all the mistakes i have made and they dont no how to forgive and forget.....except my mom.....she has made mistakes so she kinda nos.....i mean i hate keeping this part of my life away from the ppl i love the most.... well i have noidea what to do....i have thought really hard about tellin my family but i cant bring myself to do it....i no i am not the only one who has this problem but if anyone has any advise to give me well feel free.....thank u.... KIM[/SIZE][/SIZE]
Hey Kim, I think everyone experiences the same feelings you're experiencing right now. No matter how accepting our parents can seem, everyone always seems to think, "but they can't be accepting of me." I know I felt that way, too. You coming out to your cousin Josh was the first big step in coming out to the rest of your family. Now, you just need to take that a step farther. I know it seems impossibly hard, and that it can't possibly go right. But, from what you've said in this post about your mother, coming out to her would probably change your life for the better. You've said that she is understanding and that she, out of all your family members, accepts you regardless of the mistakes you've made. There's no reason why this should be any different! You don't need to come out to your whole family at the same time. I'm not even out to all of mine (in fact, I'm out to only my mom and dad, with regard to family). I would start with your mom. Right now it seems impossible. But in the larger scope of things, not only is telling your mom the truth possible, but also highly desirable. Sure, she might be shaken up at first, maybe even blow it out of proportion a bit - but that's all normal. It's part of what every parent goes through in her situation. After that though, your life will be so much happier - you can be honest with one more person you love, and grow that much closer to your family. I think it just comes down to asking yourself, "Is the period of uneasiness after coming out to my parents worth living an open and happy life? Would I rather stay hidden from my family and be miserable, or take the chance to make the best of my life?" To me, the question seems easily answerable in your situation. You said it yourself - your mom is very understanding, and has forgiven you regardless of your past mess ups. She will absolutely still love and cherish you after you come out! It's so scary. I remember I broke down in tears when I told my mom. I was shaking and a complete nervous wreck. Think of it as a huge water slide, or a roller coaster. You are climbing to the top, nervous about what's going to happen. What if the ride breaks or I fly off the side? You think about turning back, but in the end reach the top regardless. You take the plunge, and for the first few seconds think, "Oh God, I think I made a mistake!" And then the thrill of the ride sets in, a smile blossoms on your now happy face, and you realize how much you would have missed had you really turned back before the top. You reach the end, climb off, and realize that life is good, and that your happiness was worth the risk. The first time was the hardest, and every time after only grows easier and easier. You don't have to tell your mom now, even if you agree with everything that I said. Only you can know when the time is right for you to tell her. Just remember that you'll always have friends in life (and on EC!) that will support you no matter the outcome. When you do feel ready, make sure you think about what you're going to say. As I've said in other posts, you know your mom better than almost anyone else. Think of the best way to begin the conversation, and let her know what she must, eventually, know. If that means subtle hints over a period of time, or a short to the point face-to-face chat, then so be it. Good luck, <3 Ryan
Well said Emosewa, and Kim I support you too. I'm glad i told you last night. or this morning rather. LOL. I think you are in a better position than I am in. I've rather tell your mom then my mom. I dont know. You know my mom, and how she's always like Gay people go to Hell, no questions asked, and Blah Blah BLah. She said she'd never help me do anything if I was gay, and I rememeber one time when she told me she'd rather find out i was a drug addict than to find out i was gay. Your mom has had Gay friends and is way more accepting. I'm afraid that if i told mom she'd take everything away from me and kick me out. I need her right now. She'd take the car she bought me away, I know she would. shit She'd probly kick me out. I dunno. I have to have her to help me threw college. I've been looking for different schollarship programs and stuff, and colleges i can stay on campas at. I may even ask a friend if i can move in if everything works out as far as getting my future straight goes. I'm not going to risk my future because she might not accept it. I dont like to gamble when the stakes are this high. I know my mom loves me, but i'm too afraid to tell her. liek i said i need her. you told me earlier that i would be happier if i told her...Did you really sit down to think about how she is? I will tell her when i get my life in order, when I'm not 100% dependent on her. Right now i dont have anyone in my life to be with so i dont see the point in telling her. If i had a boyfriend then that would be different. Right now tho It would be stupid for me to tell her. you understand what i'm saying right. I wish my mom where as accepting of others as yours is. I love my Aunt Vickie. You should tell your mom. I dont think she will blow it out of proportion. Thanks again for understanding me. Love You (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) Josh
Honestly, I feel repressing or holding in feelings, about yourself and who you are yourself, is harmful. Parents are USUALLY supportive. You're still there daughter, and they'll still love you no matter what, even if they seem to say different.
