1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Pre coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SgWay, Feb 9, 2017.

  1. SgWay

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2017
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kuala Lumpur
    Hi,

    I have known for a long time Im gay. Im a Malaysian in the capital Kuala Lumpur and unfortunately born a Muslim, hence its extremely difficult to come out. My mom is modern ,educated and even studied in the US but I doubt she can handle it. I am not at all religious but I dont drink due to being brought up in a Muslim enviornment.

    For the rest of my life, I have managed to handle the roller coaster of emotions due to my sexuality with sheer will and venting the excess energy through other means. I studied 5 years iin Australia for my degree and masters and even kept my sexuality to myself despite the more liberal environment. Perhaps its because I stayed with other Muslim Malaysians which also stifled my ability to come out. I have had puppy crushes on other men, some being my own friends but I know its going nowhere.

    But as I am turning 30, I suddenly became severely lonely and feel the need to meet some other men who will accept me as I am and just go out and have fun with no secrets about our sexuality. I am like a straight guy just wanting to meet other girls and hang out. Going out with my straight male friends is no longer fun and they are somehow homophobic and will probably ditch me if I somehow tell them I am gay. Making funs and accusing other men as being gay is a pun common among Malaysian Muslim men, I get depressed when our conversations goes to that direction. As you know, accusing someone as gay is a good way of killing your political enemies in Malaysia as sodomy is punishable by an archaic law from the British era. Even among the non Muslim Malaysians like the Chinese and Indians, declaring yourself gay is also not a good idea.

    I am going back to Australia at the ACT to continue part of my PhD by mid year, I figure Id like to come out and meet and befriend other gay men for once due to Australia having a more liberal environment and more condusive environment althoughy when I studied there I did witnessed mild homophobic behaviors againts LGBTs at my previous university.

    But the problem I am confused and perhaps deterred by fear on how to proceed since I never met or befriend other gay people, the ACT canberra doesnt seem to have a active LGBT groups, I am uncomfortable meeting people in bars due to my Muslim upbringing, and I am confused which dating sites I should registet with as I always think these sites ate somewhat scams.

    Just wondering if anyone have some good advise for me to embrace my sexuality. Id like to join an LGBT meetup in Canberra if there is any.

    Regards
     
    #1 SgWay, Feb 9, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 9, 2017