Coming out to my best friend

So today I finally decided to come out to my best friend of 9 years - not because I was suddenly feeling brave, but because I couldn't handle the denial, deception or secrecy anymore. Not only to my best friend, but to everyone that I knew and called my 'friend'. Years of denying, has made it a very lonely path for me. Yes, I have had crushes and likes with girls before, but I just can't imagine myself being with them as I would with a boy. Whenever I crush on a boy its mad. I repress urges of wanting to be able to hold their hand, be in their arms and kiss them and hug them and anything a straight guy would wish to do with a girl. And I'm just sick of depriving myself of being happy. I want to be happy. So I decided to tell my best friend - even if it was just only one.

And it was literally the most satisfying and relieving feeling I've ever felt. It just felt right. It didn't feel weird at all as I told him quite shyly that I was bisexual. It just felt safe and honest and very me. Only god knows how I felt, when he told me quite rightly that he didn't care and was actually very accepting. It surprised me. All the scenarios I conjured in my head of him rejecting me and possibly, ruining our friendship - didn't happen. He was actually very reassuring and I was still his best friend. And that made me very happy. I didn't cry but I wanted to. I wanted to ask whether he had knew all along, that if saw behind my facade, but at the same time I knew it didn't matter. What mattered was that I was finally honest with myself and I told someone that I could trust, a little part of myself that no one knew - but could change everything. Maybe, this can even bring us more closer as best friends than we already are.

 

Me too. Sorry, I've only just read this and yeah being a naturally shy and sensitive guy it took a lot of courage. I doubt (if I ever do) come out to my family, that they will have similar reaction haha. :eusa_doh:

---------- Post added 28th Mar 2017 at 05:05 AM ----------

---------- Post added 28th Mar 2017 at 05:07 AM ----------

Funny thing is though, he's my best friend but we kind of forcibly separated after college, seeing as he goes to a different college than me, but it still felt right, like I've been through things experience-wise with him, that I haven't with anyone else; we basically grew up together. But I can't help but shake a feeling in the back of my mind that I only told him because it felt safe to do so, seeing that I don't see him around.

But then again, I've also told 1 other person in my college who I'm also quite close too as well.

---------- Post added 28th Mar 2017 at 05:13 AM ----------

He even asked me "Why haven't you told anyone?", "No-one (referring to our social group) would judge you", and I can't help but think it was very reassuring. But I also feel like at the same time, since he's not actually been in the situation I am in, he won't understand that, if it were that simple and easy; I would have done it ages ago.