Hi all! So I am ready to come out. I'm tired of keeping this secret and I want to start dating (which I'm sure most of you know is difficult to do while in the closet). Also, my best friend and I are planning on getting an apartment together in May and I feel like it's the right thing to have full disclosure with her just so she knows what she's getting herself into. I know she'll be totally supportive and I know she'll still love me, but I am still SO nervous that I'm going to lose her. I'm really worried she won't feel comfortable living with me and I'm worried that coming out will create distance between the two of us. Also, her boyfriend is the jealous type. So I'm worried he won't want her living with me or spending a lot of time with me. But, also he's a super nice guy and I'm pretty good friends with him too. He's not homophobic - on her 21st birthday we went clubbing and I danced with a girl and he was really supporting/encouraging about it, but also said it was the funniest thing ever(??). Anyway, my question is, what is your advice for this situation? I was thinking I would come out to her and then have a separate conversation with him where I just explain that she's my best friend and only my best friend and that I respect their relationship and would never overstep... Thanks in advance!!
I think you got it. You may also need to explain to your friend that you don't have feelings for her but other than that you have a sound plan.
You can do this, shelovesfoxes! I think it will go just fine. I agree with Smores, that letting her know that your sexuality has nothing to do with her may be a good idea if you are afraid of what she will think about it. As for the boyfriend, I think yes, that should be a separate conversation. I am worried about her being with a jealous man more than anything else in this situation. Jealousy is not healthy, and it can become very toxic to a relationship, and even be a red flag for future, more serious problems. Sorry, but I needed to say that even though I know you didn't ask, I just couldn't say nothing about it! That aside, I think you owe it to yourself to clear the air so that you can move forward and begin dating! You deserve to be happy, so try not to let your fears hold you down!
Hi all! I just thought I'd post an update. I really have the very best friend a person could have. She and I went to the gym and then out to breakfast yesterday. I had planned to tell her at breakfast once our meal came. When it was time I started to get really nervous and she kept asking me if I was okay. I just kept saying "yeah I'm fine" and then putting it off. Finally I said "I need to tell you something because if I don't do it now I'm going to chicken out" (so much for the lines I had practiced for days lol) she got a really worried look on her face and then I told her "I'm gay". She exhaled and started to get teary eyed and said "Oh my god you scared me! I thought you were going to say you were sick or something." And she got kind of emotional. She said she really didn't care if I was gay and we continued talking like nothing had happened. I feel so silly for feeling so nervous to tell her. She made it so easy and didn't make me doubt for a second that she loves me. I know not everyone I come out to will react like this but I'm glad I have her in my life.
That is not an easy conversation to have at all but it sounds like you have a great best friend. Congratulations!
