Hi, I'm still kind of questioning my gender right now, but I'm becoming more certain with every passing day that I'm FTM. I have a relatively accepting community around me, but I have a feeling my sorority sisters would be devastated at the news and force me to drop my colors or they would take them from me so I wouldn't be a part of it anymore. I am very afraid of being rejected by them but also very stuck because I feel like I'm acting and dressing like a girl only for their benefit. We have a brother who's FTM but he was out waaayy before he pledged, and he's 30, so I feel really stuck. Any advice?
How many years do you have left at your college? This may make a bit of a difference in my advice to you, so just wondering.
Do you have an idea of how you would like to go about transitioning? I too, feel that you deserve to be your authentic self and feel comfortable in your own skin. I have a few friends who have transitioned, both ftm and mtf, and my understanding is that the transition is a long process and that patience is key. It sounds to me like, if there is someone else who has been accepted despite being trans, then you coming out as trans should also be widely accepted. I am no expert, so please take my advice with a grain of salt, but what if you were to just start with baby steps? Start dressing the way you wish to dress, start wearing a binder if you'd like, etc. See how it feels to you, and see how (or if) people around you respond. Hormone replacement therapy is a long-term process, so if you are hoping to start this sooner than later, it may be awhile before your body responds in noticeable ways. Any kind of surgery usually comes way later, once your body has reached a point that you feel most comfortable doing surgery, if that is even something that interests you. (There are plenty of trans folk who decide that surgery is not for them, or go with say, top surgery, but aren't comfortable with bottom surgery). If there are girls in your sorority that you trust more than others, maybe talk to them about it when you feel ready? Maybe you can also look to your campus administration and counseling for advice? Many colleges these days provide excellent and inclusive support to their LGBTQIA students. The benefit of reaching out to a school counselor is that they can help bridge the gap between your fears and actual policy. If it is school policy to protect LGBTQIA (which it should be), then you may have certain protections that would secure your place in the sorority. Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling, but I just wanted to give you some things to think about, and I hope it helps put your mind at ease a bit and help you find more options and resources. I'm wishing you the best of luck, and I'm rooting for you! ---------- Post added 15th Feb 2017 at 03:39 PM ---------- To be more clear, what I meant about transitioning, is that beginning the transition, you won't see the effects overnight, so if you want to start taking steps to be your authentic self but still don't want to come out to your sorority, you can still start taking steps, but they will buy you time to really feel the situation out on campus. I felt like I wasn't being totally clear with what I meant, sorry.
