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How did you know you were ready to come out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by gaylor, Feb 17, 2017.

  1. gaylor

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    NY
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I've known I was gay for about 2 months or so. I don't think I'm quite ready to come out yet, but I feel the urge to tell my closest friends whenever we are together so I think I'm getting there and will probably be out sometime soon. My biggest reservation is that I have only known for a short period of time. Something makes me feel like that is not long enough to really know my sexuality. I know that I am gay and in hindsight can tell that i have been forever, but I worry that others will think my feelings are illegitimate.

    I'm contemplating waiting until after college, so until next May. This was I am no longer around people who could have potentially negative reactions. Also this was I can have had a lot longer to really solidify the way i feel.

    The downside to this is that it is exhausting to hide this and I feel like I can't truly be myself. I know I should just do what I feel is best for me but maybe these feelings are signs that I am not actually ready to come out yet. Or perhaps I am just worrying too much about other people. I guess when I do decide to come out it will be up to me.

    When others were coming out did you feel apprehensive still or did you wait until you were comfortable doing so? How did you know you were ready to tell people? or are you never really ready to tell others and just gotta go for it?
     
  2. Patrick7269

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    Out to everyone
    gaylor,

    In my opinion you're going about this in a very reasonable way. I think you realize that coming out is important for you but it also carries risk if others who impact your life could adversely affect you if they react negatively. It seems you're looking for a balance between self-expression and protection.

    I think that 2 months is a significant amount of time to know your sexuality, but it may not be enough time for you to see how your sexuality would work in your life and to understand and accept all the impacts of coming out. You may want to wait to come out until you know this landscape a little better. I think your plan to come out after college (next May or so) is a good one.

    While you're in college, you can find an LGBT student group, study LGBT history, attend lectures on LGBT rights and social justice, etc. You may be surprised at how rich our history is and what we've accomplished as a group.

    I hope this helps; best wishes on your journey! Please keep us posted. :slight_smile:

    Patrick
     
  3. Assassin'sKat

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    I wasn't ready. But my mom asked and I hate lying.
     
  4. IceCream

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    I knew I was ready when my sexuality no longer felt like a big deal. I came out to my college (UK college) friends simply by mentioning I was bisexual super casually, like 'that girl is hot' etc. It sounds like you're still coming to terms with your sexuality, so there's no harm in waiting. Is there likely to be any negative reactions or are you just worried?
     
  5. gaylor

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Out to everyone
    I'm nervous mostly; I doubt there will be bad reactions (from close friends at and family at least).