Ok, need a bit of advice. The first person and good friend that I came out too seems to of changed. We have been chatting online for the last month or so quite fine and he seemed to enjoy getting me to enjoy opening up about my personal life. We haven't actually seen each other in person since I came out to him on the phone and he has been overseas, but now he is back for the easter break. Knowing he would be busy working I emailed him to find out when would be best to visit and if there was room to crash at his, as i always do when visiting him.. No answer for 3 days and every time I tried to chat on facebook he never answered until today. Today he finally said hello, but never said anything about my possible visit and the conversation we had only lasted about 2 sentences, it was very strained, then he disappaired, just to pop back 20 minutes later say hi and then nothing. I am confused with whether to just come out and question what has changed within the last week or to leave it and see if it is just my imagination. He is a good friend and I don't wanna loose him, I thinking he might think I am relying on him to much or that i fancy him - which i don't. But he is someone I wanna keep in my life and I feel I may loose him as a friend if I push the situation by asking him straight out and will loose him if I let it slide...
It might be worth asking him if something's up. It doesn't have to be a huge confrontation with wild accusations or anything like that. Just say something like, "Hey, are you ok? You've seemed really distant/distracted/pre-occupied (pick one) for the last week or so."
This is good advice. Just confront him in a non-threataning way, but make sure to give him space if you dont want to loose him. If for some reason hes avoiding you, best to give him time to work things out on his own. If for some reason hes just plain busy, you dont want to be "that nagging friend" either. A simple "Hey, you seen really busy lately, whats up?" or whatever it may be is all thats needed.
Cheers, sounds good advice - not 100% sure still best way to contact... we don't really call each other by phone unless important so thinking email although he can ignore that but then that is an answer in itself - been waiting for him to be online to IM all night but wasn't around... will email tomorrow as see if get a response... cheers guys just needed another person to kick me the right direction.
Update - Well I just spent the weekend at my friends working and it turns out nothin in our friendship has changed... Just me reading to much into little things - What is has shown and taught me is I have been letting my acceptance of being gay overtake my whole life and I have been forgetting the other things that bring great joy and pleasure into my life.. Now for the hard part of making sure I don't slip back into "I'm Gay, what do I do mood again" I just gotta keep living as I have done in a way that makes me happy. Stupid 4 months of confussion and the first time back on the water in that time and everything seems simpler and I know what I am about again.. Cheers for all the help Pete
(*hug*) The road to figuring this out does not matter, however bumpy or long it was, just the fact that your at this point NOW is what matters. Im so happy to hear you have figured some things out and know who you are again. Its definitely not something thats easy to figure out. Maybe write this down somewhere for when your feeling down, re-read it and remember the happy place you found.
