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Coming out to religious parents in Australia

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Aus, Feb 20, 2017.

  1. Aus

    Aus
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2016
    Messages:
    3
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    Location:
    Brisbane
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    After being in a fantastic relationship for 5 years, I finally got the courage up to tell my extremely conservative and religious family....it took 5 years as I was afraid of losing them..and that's exactly what happened. I told my Mum first in person, who said she was suspicious of our 'friendship' but yet was still shocked. I called her a couple of days later and she was angry and cold. She told me that I needed to tell my sisters that I am 'choosing' to be a lesbian and 'live that life'. I've told both my sisters and my brother over the phone as I live interstate, I didn't ask anything them, I just wanted them to know. It's been about a month now. Through text and one phone call I've been told that I'm sinner, that if I choose this life I won't be spending it in eternity with my family, I've ruined the family, they refuse to tell their children about me as discussing sexuality is harmful for kids, and the list goes on. We are a close family, we are very non confrontational and I thought loving. My partner and a few close friends keep saying it will take time, but a month of 'ex-communication' is just so hurtful and unexpected. I realised it would be a shock but didn't actually choose not to have anything to do with me! I haven't been to church myself for at least 10 years, but remember it all being about love and forgiveness. I'm hurt that they would think I would 'choose' to hurt or challenge their beliefs on a whim and that they don't respect me enough to even communicate with me.
    I guess I'm looking for advice on how to explain to them that it's not a choice?
    Have people actually 'lost' their entire family over being gay? I'm not asking them to chose between their religion and me. They have all said that they love me, but this doesn't feel like love. When I said to my sister that I just want to keep in touch, she said she'd pray for me and see...