Hi! So I think I've finally figured out my sexuality, thank you to everyone on here who was helpful with that. I've only brought it up to one, close online friend since then. And she's been a little off since then. Before I tell anyone else, I feel like I should come out to my boyfriend. We have been together for basically six years and we have been living together for almost four years. I do care about him, and me realizing my sexuality hasn't changed how I feel about him. Not yet anyway. It's just extremely scary to tell him because I don't k ow how he will react, and it won't really change our relationship. But I don't want to hide this part of myself from him. What should I do? I'm really at a loss of whether I should just bring it up out of the blue or if there's a way to ease into it?
I've now come out to two friends, one was a lot nicer than the other. Any advice on how to approach this with my long term boyfriend would be great!
I'd say that the first thing that you need to figure out is how you want to come out to him. Like, would you feel more comfortable coming out to him face-to-face or in writing? From there, I think that it is easier to figure out exactly what you want to say. I would be sure to emphsize that this has not changed your attraction to him at the moment. It also would be good to open up a conversation somehow, so that he can ask questions if he has any. That being said though, if they are disrespectful questions or attacks, you'll need to have a way to shut that conversation down.
Think if this is necessary to tell him, he may be ok and supportive but also can be a asshole and turn this against you, teasing you and offering threesome like my ex. You know him, so you need tk decide. But if this wont change your feelings toward him, why would you need to tell this thing? Unless you're thinking of experimenting and exploring yourself ( but I would consider that as a cheating..).
I felt like it would be best to tell him in person, in writing feels a little odd to me. Like I'm hiding? That could just be from past experiences, I don't know if that's a viable reason or not. I assume he wouldn't be rude, but I'm not 100% sure. ---------- Post added 2nd Mar 2017 at 07:28 PM ---------- I go back and forth whether I should even tell him or not, because for me at the moment it doesn't change our relationship. But, on the other hand, if I don't tell him I'll feel like I'm lying by omission. Because I tell him everything, typically. And I would also want to know if our situation was reversed(as in, if he felt his sexuality wasn't what he originally thought it was-I would want him to trust me with that information). If he winds up being rude about it, then that would also make me question if I want to continue to be with someone like that. As for exploring my sexuality, I'm Not a cheater, so that wouldn't happen while I was in a relationship unless I had the full support and consent of my partner.
What views does your boyfriend have on LGBT issues, if he is really supportive, then he has a higher chance of reacting with support of your sexuality. If he isn't supportive maybe don't tell him because he will react more negatively.
Maybe that should be my first step, seeing how he actually feels about LGBT+ issues. He is usually apathetic towards things when they don't directly affect him. And we have talked, it's been a year or two, but if we accidentally had a kid (because no way that's going to be planned anytime soon-or at all), how he would feel if they had a different orientation-and he said he would accept them. But I feel like it's different when it's your partner, you know? I have a lot of doubt and anxiety about this, if you can't tell
