Hello there....so, I'm 24, and I just realized I'm into women. I grew up with pretty liberal parents, not religious or anything, but at 15 I started going to an evangelical church with a friend and became a Christian. I remained in that faith tradition until August(ish) of last year, and since then I've been in a period of seriously deconstructing of what I believe. I have only been on a few dates in my life... which I always thought was maybe because there was something wrong with me, something I wasn't aware of. But I also never really cared if boys liked me or not, other than the fact that I felt insecure about it. But, at the beginning of this year, I decided to start going on some dates, and so I did... and one guy, I went out with a few times. After two dates, he kissed me! I expected to feel something good, but instead, I just got in my car and cried the whole way home. That kiss felt so wrong to me! I was depressed the following day. Then, for about a week, I thought that I might be asexual, a thought that made me depressed as well (not that I think being asexual is wrong). And finally, that next weekend, it's like a lightbulb came on in my head, and I realized... I'm gay. I think I would have realized it a long time ago, between me crushing on certain friends from a young age, my obsession with female celebs, and my complete lack of interest in boys, but my religion and church community didn't give me the space to consider it. So I guess my question is... what the hell do I do now? I am a virgin in all senses of the word, and not only that... I've barely dated, and never been in a relationship. I'm also pretty femme. I feel like I don't know how to be lesbian. I'm a pretty intelligent and relational person but I feel so incredibly behind. Is there any hope for me?! Thanks for reading.
Of course there's hope for you! There's no right way to be gay, and you're not behind or anything. I get it though, when I finally accepted that I wasn't straight I felt like things should just be. Different somehow, all of a sudden. But nothing's changed, you're still you. It's understandable to be nervous or awkward about dating girls when you're not used to it, but I guess my advice would be to try not to overthink it. Let things happen naturally, let yourself figure things out as you go. You don't have to know everything right away (I definitely don't know much myself lmao), just know where your boundaries are. This is the sort of approach I'm taking to things;; I hope it works out well for you too
