hi there, I came out yesterday to one of my best friends since I am 3. She was incredibly supportive and she later text me saying she was so proud of me and that she would make sure to help me with my "love" life and also help me if I needed/wanted to tell the rest of our friends. I found this incredibly supportive (I didn't think it would be any different) BUT still I seem to get hold of the negatives. So for instance, I play football and she said "im sure all the girls there love you"...I was offended because even though it wasn't a bad intentioned comment I don't like people assuming stuff like that of lesbians. I know im being oversensitive but I really cant get over this feeling that, no matter how much the people close to me try, they will never really get me... any advice
This is the very awkward lapse in logic that happens when certain people are told you or I are gay. When we're straight, we have our preferences and attractions towards certain types of people. Only certain things will turn us on and certain things will turn us off. But once some people are aware that you are now gay, they assume that it has mostly to do with the sex and genitalia, and so they will start to assume that anyone of your own sex turns you on, when that absolutely is not true. I don't think your friend was trying to say something wrong or knowingly was making fun of you with a "compliment" like that. But you might want to sit her down and explain things more clearly if she continues to say things like that. Because even if they don't see the harm in it, making broad assumptions like that, or trying to be supportive in that sort of manner, is more distressing and awkward than it is helpful or supportive.
MisterMissy said it best. Many straight people seem to assume for some reason that if you're gay, anyone of the same gender turns you on. I think its just down to ignorance, really - your friend probably doesn't know she's even being rude. If she does this sort of thing often, you might sit her down and explain it to her.
