So recently I’ve been trying to force myself on dates. I’ve gone on two dates with two different guys just to make sure that maybe it wasn't the guy or whatever. And both dates left me feeling odd and I felt so out of place and just.. wrong? Idk really. I've known for a while that I have feelings for women. I always labelled myself as bisexual so I would feel better about it. And I know, there's nothing to be ashamed of. But I was raised a certain way and I guess I still have that ingrained in me. But anyway. The second date was a disaster. I met the guy online and it was okay to start with. We met up and he took me to dinner. But I was uncomfortable as soon as we left the restaurant and I had to be alone with him. And then he parked and he grabbed my hand and I was so uncomfortable (I realize that I'm using that word a lot but idk how else to describe it). And I let him because I figured it was okay even though I'm weird about PDA. And then he kissed me and I was so shocked and I tried to push him away but I guess that turned him on because then his tongue was basically down my throat and I was so overwhelmed and I can't get it out of my head and idk what to do about that. But anyway, I guess what I want to know is; does it get easier? Does that guilty feeling go away? Do you forget to be worried and ever just get to be in love? Will my family still love me? Will I ever feel like I belong with them again?
Firstly, I'm so sorry you had to deal with someone who obviously doesn't respect your personal space. That would be upsetting to anyone. What I would suggest is-going out with a girl and seeing if you feel any better about it. As for if it gets easier and the rest of your questions, I'm still figuring it all out myself
