Hello guys, please give me some advice and your views on my problem. I`m male, 26, I identify myself as heterosexual, but I had some disturbing thoughts about sexuality in the last couple of weeks, that seem to appear out of nowher. I always struggled with women and never had a real sexual/romantic contacts with them, except couple of times in highschool and early 20` when I was so drunk I barely remember anything. So recently, I even started questioning my orientation and identity to the point where I became very anxious and confused. I`m not attracted to men at all in a romantic/sexual way, but I have developed some sort of fetish (dont know how to call it) where I am having sex with men (me being passive and submissive) while dressed in female clothes. My interests, behaviour and looks are male, typically heterosexual and I ve never had someone question my orientation, if that info matters. Just to mention it, I had serious problems with depression and anxiety generally, so in the last 10 or so years I isolated myself from people, and also I became almost addicted to porn. Normally I m only attracted to women and feminine traits and behaviour, but Im too shy and nervous around them and I just cant form a relationship with them (I avoid them to be honest, and social events in general). I watched alot of transexual, crossdressing etc porn over the years, so started masturbating on them long ago. I was never in any way attracted to a male person in my life, so it confuses me so much. I never masturbate on or watch gay porn, idea of male-male sex is not appealing to me at all (not to be misunderstood, I have nothing against lgbt people at all, I m raised in a liberal, openminded, normal family, so homophobia is no go; its the idea of me being homosexual that disturbs me and feels so forced and unpleasant) So it occured to me, could it be that I m not really heterosexual and that its the cause of anxiety with women. I ran into this site couple of days ago, while browsing the internet, and I thought people here have enough knowledge and experience in this area. Again, sorry if I offended anyone, wasnt my intention. I ll answer any additional questions if that helps in clearing my situation out. Thanks for reading, I couldnt really make it any shorter.
