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People say they think I'm bi or lesbian?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Awsedrft, Mar 4, 2017.

  1. Awsedrft

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    So I am pretty sure that I'm straight, or so I thought until recently. I'm attracted to men but I do notice when a girl is pretty (I think that's pretty "normal" for straight people though??). I don't actively go out and see if I see attractive girls walk by but when they do I'm indifferent about it, like I see that they're pretty but don't think anything of it. Anyways, you get the point.
    I have kissed girls before, in total on 3 separate occasions, each time I was drunk and it was with friends. It wasn't because there was sexual tension etc. we just wanted to see what kissing was like.

    I'm 17 and at parties (if I make out with someone) I make out with guys and I'm pretty sure I'm attracted to guys but recently people (some friends and my sister but all in separate situations) said that they think I'm bi and idk. I'm just not sure, I mean personally I think I'm straight but so many people have said otherwise that it's confusing me? I've only ever had crushes guys so that makes me more confident that I'm into guys but it totally throws me off when I'm confronted with being bi.

    It sucks and it's super annoying, the other day in class a friend mentioned that they think I'm bi and I dont know I got this weird and uncomfortable sensation because I have thought of it before but Im Just really unsure... The most annoying thing is that I'm never like oh yeah they're right I'm definitely bi but because soooo many people have suggested it now im Just not sure and not knowing makes me kindof uncomfortable...

    I don't even know if that makes any sense but if anyone has any advice I would be REALLY greatful.
     
  2. Moonsparkle

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    Yes it does 'make sense' what you're saying. There are a lot of people questioning their sexuality on this site and you will find other stories similar to yours.

    In the end it doesn't really matter what your friends say or think, what matters is you--and you have described your orientation as 'straight but curious.' If you want to explore your feelings around women that's fine...and whatever your orientation, straight, bi, whatever-- is okay! Living your life as the REAL authentic you is what's most important.

    I would ask yourself a couple of questions that may help you clarify things. You say you feel uncomfortable and annoyed when a friend says you are bi. Is that because you are straight and you are just annoyed that someone is suggesting you are something you aren't? Or is that because you 'want' to be straight (for whatever reason)? Or is it because they are touching a nerve, perhaps exposing something you already know about yourself?

    All that being said, I will share a quick story that is related. Many years ago at my job (I was married to a man at the time, now divorced) a new girl(she was a lesbian and out) started working there. We didn't know each other well but one day in the lunchroom in general conversation I mentioned something about my husband. She said, 'oh you're married? I thought you were a lesbian.' Curious to me, but I didn't give it much thought.

    Fast forward many years until I am about 46, and I start questioning my sexuality, fall in love with a woman, have a relationship with her...and everything makes sense. And I realize I am a lesbian.

    I have no idea what vibes this coworker at work was picking up on way back then. I am very feminine, I was married to a man at the time...I wasn't even questioning back then! Just weird. Somehow she knew.

    I am not saying that your friends are picking up on 'signs' that you are bisexual. Maybe they are, maybe not...but thought I would share this story! And just remember whatever your orientation, it's all good! :slight_smile:
     
  3. Assassin'sKat

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    Other people can't know how you feel. Just correct them. YOU know how you feel.