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...Should I even bother coming out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by b3pi2, Mar 5, 2017.

  1. b3pi2

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Dallas
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I've been asked about twice if I'm trans by my dad and his wife, and I said no both times because I was scared of their reactions even though they said they'd support me.
    Riddle me this, how am I supposed to trust them when just a few days ago my dad made a joke about trans people while my brother laughed, my stepmom says trans people should use the bathroom of their birth sex, and my brother in law called them "he-shes"? Plus, whenever I go to express my feelings on anything, I'm told to knock it off because it might cause my dad too much stress. Who's to say this won't be any different? I don't know, maybe I'm being dramatic, but I'm not so sure I want to come out even though it sounded like a good idea at first...
    What do you all think? Should I?
     
  2. BadassFrost

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well, if they directly told you they'd support you, and they really meant it honestly, I think it might be a good idea. They may be making jokes about trans people, because they now think there's no trans around who would hear them, so they may think it's harmless. Some people are making jokes about others (not just lgbt) in their absence, and even if they don't mean it badly, it is not nice. But this doesn't sound like a hate (unless these jokes are really evil)
    If you come out to them, and they will support you as they said, then they will probably stop doing it. And if they won't, then just directly tell them you don't like it. And you can even talk to your stepmom about your opinion on that bathroom thing, and she may change her mind if she'll listen to your point of view. Talking about it is very important. At first it may be stressful to both you and them, but in the end it should be fine, if they are not transphobic and they really love you.

    Just my two cents, hope it helps at least a bit :slight_smile:
     
  3. Seluj

    Regular Member

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    Questioning
    I think just say, I might be/am trans, but you need some space to deal with it. Hope that helps.
     
  4. Ljjgreat2017

    Regular Member

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    Questioning
    I think you should wait. But you could come out. It is really up to you. Do you think you can weigh the pros and cons of coming out? If the pros outweigh the cons, you could come out? If the cons outweigh the pros, you could wait? Do you think you can handle a negative reaction? Do you feel mentally stable? If you are mentally strong and feel comfortable, then coming out may not hurt at all. If you are not mentally stable and don't feel comfortable in yourself, then waiting is your best decision.

    Hopefully, this will narrow down your decisions.

    I wish you luck.