Hi guys I am new to this forum. I am 26 bi and not out except to a couple of friends. I have been hanging out with a new mate over the past twelve months. He claims he is straight. He definitely hooks up with girls from time to time but there is always something strange about his stories when he claims to sleep with them. It can be that he says he has sex with them but they later denied that ever happened. He has never had a girl friend or gone on a date with a girl. Over the past year we have become extremely close. He calls me every day, we hang out multiple times a week. A number of people have thought he might be gay and I made the mistake of comforting him about it once when we were drunk. We became fairly emotional about the issue and denied it. It struck me as strange that he became emotional about it. I have told him a couple of times that I have feelings for him. He doesn't know that I'm into boys. Despite this, we sleep together in the same bed when we are drunk. This has happened about 20 times. When we do we cuddle like we are in a long term relationship. The weird thing is he initiates it all. I often wake up tangled up with him with him rubbing my feet with his. We have both told each other how much we love each other. After one incident he freaked out a bit when one of his friends pointed out we slept together twice in one weekend. He talked to me about it and said that he doesn't want to do that anymore. Since that I've backed off plenty. Despite this I have found him sneaking into my bed when I'm already there at least three times. It's getting real difficult because I get jealous if I see a girl talking to him when we are out. He hangs out with friends that encourage hooking up with girls. Just looking for any general advice on what to do or what he might be. At times I think his bi and keen but others I really have no idea if I just have a crush on a straight guy. Real real confusing.
First off, I haven't seen a fellow Australian for yonks so g'day . Secondly, I think that he is at a crossroads. One one hand he may be trying to be more hetro in the way hes trying to be with girls and telling people about how hes slept with them etc. This may be caused by internalised homophobia and the want to fit in as "normal" in todays society. On the other hand, he obviously isnt as straight as he wants to pass off as (sleeping with you 20 times? They cant all be accidents). He may at this time be trying to come out but doesnt know how to. So the best thing you can do is support him as a friend. Possibly coming out to him could coques him a bit. Hope I helped!
