Severely confused seeking advice

Good
Morning and sorry to hear about the past and the pain it must have caused . First I would suggest seeking professional help as a well trained and experienced therapist may be able to truly help guide you . Wherever you live seeking one through online sources or local LGBT. Community may be best options. There is so much information available and lots of differing opinions about ones sexuality and the spectrum that is fluid as well. Also there is sexual behavior , sexual identity , sexual orientation and sexual fantasy which are not necessarily connected to each other . It is complicated and being lost seems normal I been lost for years before working hard to understand myself . Good luck

 

This is the perfect place to talk about stuff like this. I am sorry you are going through this. I would say if you are attracted to females even if the relationships don't work if you would like to have relationships with them then you might not be fully gay. It could just be that they were never the right women. You also aren't straight because of your attraction to men. I wouldn't say the simple version and go with bi but you should look up the different sexualities because maybe you will find one that applies to you.

 

Sexuality is very complicated for a lot of people. You shouldn't feel pressured to figure everything out today. Just give it some time. Take life one day at a time. There are ways to cope with having distress over your sexuality. You can't control your sexual orientation. It is normal to feel confused about your sexual orientation. You can alwys distract yourself with books, music, TV, or videos on YouTube. If that doesn't help, you should try speaking to someone, such as a counselor, therapist, or an understanding friend.

I'm so sorry to hear that you got raped. That must be very painful and traumatic. Have you ever seeked help after being raped? Emotional help? If so, what did you do? No one should ever be violated in the way you were. It hurts my heart to read stories like this.

Dealing with homophobic abuse from others sounds tough as well. Unfortuantely, some people are mean and cold-hearted. Some people seek to bring others down. That may be an aspect of human nature. But it is not justifiable in any way. It's bad enough to deal with homophobia at school, but it makes it even tough to deal with that kind of treatment at home. You have to know your worth. If you know your worth, people won't succeed in bringing you down.

I have encountered homophobia in high school (I consider myself to be bisexual), and it would hurt. It would hurt to hear kids say stuff like, "That's so gay" or "He's a faggot" (Referring to someone else). One time, a kid said I was "too gay" and that hurt my feelings. I didn't know how to take it. But I managed to be okay. I'm a college student. The atmosphere at my college is tolerant.

What went wrong in your relationships with women? Was there a lot of negativity?

"Im sorry for dumping my baggage but i have no one else to talk to."

Don't apologize for the pain that you're going through. You have every right to seek help on this forum.

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. If you're going through a hard time, give me a PM. I'll send you a friend request.

 

Remember

1. what happened to you as a child was NOT your fault!
2. you are NOT alone, this has happened to other people, including myself
3. There is an advisor here you has helped me realize that, for the first time since I was 7 years old, that I don't have to be silent any longer. His screen name is patrickuk. I bet he will sent you the same links for reading material that he sent me.

Please take care.
Dean