Ever since I have hit puberty, I can only remember liking guys. At first I thought these feelings were just just a normal part of puberty and I would eventually get over it. However, these feelings I had for guys have not went away and seem to only got worse the more I suppressed them. I can feel this secret eating away at me and I desperately want to tell someone but I am terrified of how they will react. I would really like to be out to everyone by 12th grade (I'm currently in the 11th) but I can't seem to do it and end up pushing it off to a later date. I have also been recently invited to prom by a girl and accepted the invitation because I did not want to reject her or reveal my sexual identity. I have no idea on what to do or who I can talk to and am in dire need of advice. Keeping this secret is stressing me out and I have come to terms with being Gay. I would just like everyone else to know. All help is appreciated.
Do you have any LGBT centres in your area? If so you could visit them, get some information and meet other LGBT people. You could also tell your closest best friend (assuming they can keep a secret) just to get the weight off your chest. Or maybe you could just talk to a school counselor about it, they're pretty much forced to keep it a secret (as far as I know). Other than that, you could spend some time here at EC and get to know us and discuss various topics. Feel free to write me a message on my wall if you want to chat.
Hey JA17, I can definitely understand where you are coming from. First, I would say that you should only Come Out when you are comfortable doing so and when you are both accepting and fully understanding of your sexuality. You seem to be both accepting and understanding of your sexual orientation, so I will address Coming Out. If you are comfortable doing so, the next biggest issue these days (unfortunately) is safety. Can you Come Out to friends and/or family with out risk of serious repercussions (massive Hate, being disowned, etc)? Perhaps if you make up a list for yourself of the pros and cons of Coming Out, that can help you determine whether or not the 'time is right' for you. Also, as HuskyLover said, if you have any LGBTQ centers in your area, perhaps you should check them out. Also if there is a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) groups at your school, I would recommend that you check out (you don't have to declare yourself LGBTQ to attend such a group, you can 'just' declare yourself an Ally). In terms of your Prom date, I would say that only YOU can decide what to do on this issue. Clearly you can go with her and enjoy your experience with a friend. It may not be practicable for multiple reasons to Come Out right now and go to the Prom with a same-sex partner. That's totally understandable. Most LGBTQ people have to deal with that reality. You are certainly not alone in that respect. I hope some of this helps.
Thanks for the response guys. Just making this discussion post has seem to alleviate some of the stress. There is a LGBTQ alliance at my school, however, I don't feel that comfortable joining it. I feel as if I would automatically be assumed as Gay and as stated before, I'm not really comfortable coming out yet. Also, is it wrong for me to feel guilty about the prom situation? Even thought we aren't dating or anything I feel guilty knowing that she might prefer going with a straight guy.
Hey JA17, If it's an LGBT Alliance at your school, you could just join it as an Ally for now, couldn't you? In terms of the Prom, if you like her (as a friend) and you help her to have a great Prom experience, I seriously doubt she'll care that you're not straight. It's not like you're leading her on in a relationship, you're just agreeing to be her date for a major teenage social event. If you can relax into it, instead of worrying about it, I bet you'll have a great time, as well.
