Hello everyone, I'm new to the site but have found lots of strength within this forum as I've been feeling very estranged recently. This may be a little long but I'd like to provide some background to my question and perhaps you could help me out! I've experienced what I might term emotional (with slight aesthetic) attraction to men, but I only ever remember having had true "feelings" for two men in my life. Two years ago I was seeing a guy I felt comfortable with and connected to. I ended up having sex with him due to curiosity and external pressures, but I had a very hard time, emotionally, during and after the experience. The sex itself was listless, we didn't do any other sexual acts because they felt too intimate for me and I immediately felt less connected to him and told him I wanted to stop seeing him after we slept together. Since that experience I feel that I see men as even less attractive than before. There has always been a part of my mind that refused to consider my sexuality. And after having to process the emotions from my sexual experience, I've had to seriously consider the fact that I might prefer women. I am beginning to form some recollection of what would have been childhood crushes on women and I am constantly pondering what it would be like to kiss or have sex with women. I imagine that I would be much more comfortable with this sort of intimacy, but of course, I am not certain. Sadly, nobody has ever questioned me about my sexuality (even though I never mention my attraction to any gender). I think this is because I present myself as femme. I don't want to come out to anyone because I'm so unsure and confused, but I'm starting to become resentful at people's assumptions about my sexuality. Mostly, I want to have the opportunity to have a sexual/romantic experience with a women. Most of the females I am attracted to are straight and if I know they're not, I'm afraid to flirt for fear that they have been told I'm straight and won't take me seriously. I am in a tricky situation and would really appreciate any advice Thank you and have a wonderful day <3
