Ever since I figured out that I wasn't straight (around 11, I think) I've known that 'Oh shit, I have to tell my parents someday'. Through the years, 'someday' turned into 'soon' which turned into 'maybe later'... anyway, now I've been giving some serious thought to changing it to 'never'. Hear me out: there just aren't a lot of reasons to come out. I'm fairly sure that my parents think I'm straight, because I've had a few boyfriends and expressed interest in guys, so I doubt they're going to confront me about it. Plus, my dad is homophobic while my mom is not (as much) and they already get into a lot of fights about dad's tolerance of others, or lack thereof. He's a very rigid person, kinda old-fashioned, and has a tendency for shouting matches. Their relationship has been rocky for the past few years, and I'm afraid that me coming out will cause them to divorce. I don't want to cause my mom any more stress. Also, they're religious. Again, my dad is more than my mom but it's safe to say that they both think being gay is wrong, to varying extents. They'll probably try to convince me that it's just a phase, or get me a therapist. All in all, it's going to be very inconvenient for all parties involved-- I can already tell. Maybe if I get a serious girlfriend I'll tell them, but for now... eh. I just can't think of any good reasons for doing so. I mean, most people don't tell their parents everything about them. Would it be so wrong to conveniently never mention being bisexual? But then again I don't have that many people to talk to it about, so any other perspectives would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
My situation almost was exactly like yours is now, except my parents didn't have a rocky relationship and my mom was just as homophobic as my dad. And let me tell you, coming out sucked. My mom hardly spoke to me for a couple weeks and my dad threw every excuse he could at me for why I would have told them such a terrible thing... I wasn't really gay, it was just a phase, the devil/demons were messing with me... etc. But you know what? I wouldn't have traded it for anything, because now my parents are the most accepting and supportive parents I've ever heard of. It took my mom a month and my dad two years to come around and change their views, but they made it. I couldn't think of any good reasons to come out either, but I'm so thankful I did, because they would still be homophobic to this day if I had never said anything. Sure, it's a risk, and ultimately it's up to you, but they're going to find out eventually... and the earlier you tell them, the more time they will have to come around to the idea before you get into a serious relationship. Just my two cents!
I am only 14 but for someone who just now considering coming out to a very religious family, WAIT. You need to have someone by your side when things go down. Someone like a girlfriend because she has to go through it too. When you have that person you might be ready.
The best thing for any family to have is (LGBT or not) to have internal support which is one of if not the most important thing to have when coming out. I have a similar problem wherein my parents are probably more conservative than liberal on top of being a modernising traditional Slavic family meaning that if I came out, the generation before my parents would most likely take it worse than my mum, dad, auntie, uncle etc. would. As I said, just wait until the time you can see that there is internal support and then go for it!
