That's a hard question. I feel far more comfortable identifying as gay, but I do have curious moments. At first I erred on the bi side. I was scared of saying I'm gay and later turn out to be bi. When I did tell people I was bi they always erred heavily towards the straight side. So they basically assume I'm a straight girl with some attraction to girls. When that couldn't be further from the truth. Even if I have some attraction to men, it's nothing like the kind that straight girls have. That made me understand why some bi girls tell people they're gay. After that fiasco I thought queer would solve all my problems. Unfortunately it didn't. Right now queer seems to have bi, ploy and kinky connotations. At least when you look like me. I just want to be seen as a girl who dates girls. Now I'm just stumped. Sometimes just say I'm queer, but most of the time I stay closeted. Mainly because I get really pissed off when people don't take me seriously. So I avoid the topic to keep the peace.
The question is, of course, why do you need to label yourself? I'm just some old straight guy. My wife labels herself as bisexual because she's married to me, flirts with women, and generally just doesn't give a damn. Her girlfriends have known she's bisexual because that's the way it is, but that's just a few people in a lot of years. Her relatives know just because, but it wouldn't matter what label she grabbed if she hadn't been married and had a girlfriend. For simplicity a lot of bisexual women we have known just grab whatever label goes with their current love interest. They have no interests beyond that at the time so why bother with the complications. Women have talked to Mary since she's kinda blatantly bisexual. And she's been out for 25 years. Be well
