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Coming out while in school

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ai of han, Mar 16, 2017.

  1. ai of han

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    So I'm 17 and like 99% sure I'm gay. The problem is what if I'm not and I'm just going through a phase. Does that happen? I want to be who I am because (and this is going to sound really up myself) I keep getting asked out by boys and I'm running out of excuses to tell my friends; also I just want to be honest with them, but I'm worried about what they are going to say. If it's just a phase there's no point putting myself out there.
    At the same time I REALLY don't think it is and I really don't want to go out with any of the guys who ask me out. There's also the problem that if I do come out, I'm worried my friends will think I like them. I don't but I've always been cuddly and have got off with some of them at parties when I was drunk (I didn't think I was gay at the time). I leave school next year and don't have any reason to come out so maybe I should wait till then, but honestly it feels wrong to not admit it to them.
    So does it seem like I should tell them and face it? Or wait until I don't see them as much?
     
  2. DreamonRose

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    I say come out. But one person at a time. Start with the one closest to you. Just assure them you are not into them and if they are your real friends it will all be okay. Don't let yourself keep the burden of feeling guilty.
     
  3. Truna

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    Hey, I'm 17 too and also 99% sure I'm gay! :slight_smile:

    I know exactly where you're coming from. I was also pretty worried my friends would be creeped out if I came out to them, but they still treat me like nothing's changed, which I'm extremely grateful for. This also depends on the friends you have and the environment you live in - my school is really liberal so I really shouldn't have been worrying at all.
    If you're worried about the times you messed around them, explain to them like you just did on your post - that you didn't even know you were gay. Hopefully they'll be understanding, but if they can't accept you or act like dicks to you that's their loss.

    Like the other poster said, if you haven't ever come out to anyone before and you only really recently discovered you were gay, I'd start with your closest friends first and work your way out from there gradually. I'm still only out to around 20 people total - close friends, my brother, and other LGBT people I've met - so there's certainly no rush. If you want to do it, go for it! but if you feel uncomfortable, there's no reason to force yourself yet. (&&&)
     
  4. Liammac

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    I suggest you only tell people when you KNOW you are gay to make sure you don't tell people then it turns out you are not gay. You need to try to give yourself time to understand yourself by maybe going out with some boys and testing the water. Good luck finding what's right for you.
    Liam
     
  5. Luka99

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    99% is pretty sure I would say!
    What makes you 1% unsure though?
    Have you ever looked at a girl and felt in love or aroused or anything?
    How did you look at boys/girls before you were becoming 99% sure about being gay?

    Other then that yeh, chose the people you will tell carefully. One slip of the tongue and the whole school knows, you know how quick that goes.
    That doesn't have to be a bad thing and the more relaxed and natural you react to people talking about it the better it will go I think, but if it doesn't... It can become like a mini hell. Sorry don't want to make you more scared then necesarry.
    And d@mn... I hate we have to consider the consequences this much. In fricking 2017.
    But it is what it is, I guess.

    Take care.

    Luka