I am like 95% ready to start coming out to people but I just have a few things I would like to work through first. I have only been questioning/processing my sexuality for 3 months now, but I think it has been a life-long thing that I had been suppressing. Do you think that is really long enough to know for sure? because there are so many signs from the past, I think I am truly a lesbian. But I sometimes have my doubts, thinking maybe this is a phase or I am bisexual. Is this type of doubting normal? I have never had a realtionship with a man or a women, so can I really know without any experience. The thought of having sex with a guy kind of repulses me, I can't tell if i just feel like a might like men because society conditioned me to feel that way or if i actually do. I don't think I would be this close to telling people if I wasn't 99% sure, I just feel like this last hump is hard to get over. can anyone relate to this?
I've never had sex with a man and I never will. If you can't imagine ever having sex with a man then I would say you're a lesbian although you haven't mentioned your thoughts or feelings towards women
The "last hump" as you put it IS super hard to get over, because it's working up the courage to actually come out. You shouldn't feel like you have to have sex or a relationship with a man simply to determine it isn't for you. Speaking from my personal experience, I regret trying to be straight, and experimenting with men. Something interesting to keep in mind though: straight people never experiment with the same sex to determine it isn't for them, they don't even question their sexuality.
I know what you mean and I've been wrestling with it for a long time. Even after all this time, sometimes I wonder if I could be with a woman, although when I think about it, seems like she would have to be more on the masculine side. That points me back to I really do just like guys and thinking of women is due to societal norms. When you decide to talk to people you could explain the Kinsey scale and that you're 5.9 or whatever you feel you are and that for some people it can vary over time and that's ok. Most people probably have never heard of the scale and if more people did maybe they'd realize sexuality isn't just straight and gay. Maybe that will make it easier for you since you don't have to be 100% sure of it. I probably use that desire for absolute certainty as an excuse to not do things I should be doing, oops. Good luck to you!!
I think it's a normal thing to start second guessing yourself. As with any major decision right? But I guess, don't rush it, do it on your terms and remember.. If you tell you can't take it back. So i suppose you might want to decide first who you want to know. And it's not like you have to sign a contract or anything. If later you are more comfortable saying you are 'bisexual' then that's alright isn't it? Anyway good luck with all that Luka
