Describing that feeling as you're about to announce you're not straight...

My first time was almost 5 years ago. It will be 5 years ago a week today. I had an anxiety that I had to come out to someone. It was burning for weeks so much so that I left work early on March 26th, 2012 and typed an email to a friend. I said I was gay. I waited two minutes......and I was nervous, anxious and yes had a sinking feeling in my gut. Then I hit 'send'. There was no going back. I thought my head would explode. I did it. No fake names. No hiding. The person on the other end knew me. An hour later I got a reply of acceptance (and a bit of surprise). She told her husband and co-workers as I said....I cannot hide anymore. I gave her permission as they knew me too. We conversed a bit longer and I told her it was a relief but it took 48 hours to get over that first bit. I felt better then. Relaxed and relieved and gaining confidence. Do I regret it? Never! It's scary but honestly it felt right as time went on.

 

You pretty much got it, I would add that sometimes(I found)you get all tense/stiff and start to sweat. Just a thought

 

Palms sweat. Never knew they could do that.

 

I agree that you already captured it really well. For me it's mostly a feeling that time suddenly stretches out. Everything around me feels like it's happening in slow motion while my mind is running in circles and I repeat the sentence over and over in my head. And then there's that moment when I finally spit the words out and I don't even know how I worked up the courage to do so. And right afterwards I can't believe I just did it. Suddenly I'm not even sure if that really happened. Time seems to stop totally until the person I'm with reacts in some way.

 

anger for having to "come out" who cares who you sleep with
tears
hopelessness
crying
fear of being thrown away by the ones you love

 

I came out to a friend about a month ago. I had texted him that I wanted to meet up and wanted to talk to him, but I didn't tell him what. I was so scared to tell him, but so anxious too. I played out what I was going to say to him in my head so many times.

When I finally was there in the moment, I was so scared, like butterflies. I knew he knew what I was going to say, but he let me say it. I needed to say those magic words. I then said that I was questioning my sexuality and that I was thinking that I might be gay. A floodgate of emotions burst open. I alsmost began to cry. (In fact, I did a bit later in the evening.). But i also experienced a sense of peace and relief. I had said it. The hardest part was over.

I started out that evening confused anxious, scared. I ended it relieved and calm. I was still confused (and in a way, I still am) but I was no longer confused about who I was. Or rather, what I was not. It was such a weight off my mind.

Now i am trying to come to terms with what I know as the truth about who I am , and experience all of these new emotions and sensations that I had so long denied myself.

 

Well, in my experience, there was a sense of helplessness, when I hit send and waited for a response, and when I received acceptance I was shaking with relief.

 

I felt like I wanted to vomit. When ever I am extremely nervous, I don't get nauseous, I just feeling like vomiting.

 

Like standing on the edge of a cliff about to jump off

 

I came out to my parents via letter. Very anxious while writing it and I spent hours looking at the sealed envelopes, chain-smoking and trying to build up the nerve to mail them. But when I finally got the nerve and went and put them in the mailbox, it was the best feeling ever. Slept like a baby that night. The next day I immediately woke up and went "what have i done! why did i do that!" and the anxiety and chain-smoking came back until my parents called to say they already knew and we're fine with it. talking to my dad openly about my girlfriend who he already knew as my "friend" was one of the most freeing experiences in my life.

i later came out to my brother in person. i didn't want to but he was asking questions about my girlfriend, who he knew as my friend and liked hanging out with, so i felt backed into a corner and that it was time. i full on disassociated i was so scared. whole body went numb. i could hear myself talking but felt i wasn't in control. like i was really high or drunk and trying so hard to get the words out. and i knew i had to do it and that it would be over soon. i was driving him home at the time and almost had to pull over because i was panicking. but then he was like "Okay cool" and it was over.

i plan to come out to my other brother tomorrow and i hope it goes better lol. slowly coming out to people one at a time over 5 months has been excruciating. i should have just sent out a mass email

 

Shakey, shy, with prominent feelings of "how the hell do I say this?"

Speaking of which... how do I tell a mildly biphobic, slightly homophobic sort-of Christian Dad I'm Bisexual?

 

I think the intensity of the feelings depends to some degree on who you are Coming Out to. If you are Coming Out to someone who is really important to you, such as a close friend or family member (especially parents), the intensity level is usually at it's highest because, even if you are pretty certain that they will accept you, just the small chance that you could lose their friendship, unconditional love, support, etc is a terrifying prospect. In that moment when you Come Out, you feel totally vulnerable because you are sharing very personal and private information about yourself and you feel like you are awaiting the 'judgment' of the person you are Coming Out to (acceptance or rejection). The time between Coming Out and getting the person's initial reaction - even if it is only mere seconds - can feel like an eternity.