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Who to come out to first?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by musicheals315, Mar 19, 2017.

  1. musicheals315

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    PHOENIX, AZ
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    So i've told a few basically strangers (from a meet-up group a couple years ago when I first started questioning) and a girl I currently work with found me on an LGBT dating site and asked me about it (I think she assumed I had seen her on there), but aside from that no one except you fine folks know. I had been wanting to wait until I had some kind of "proof" for myself, but also think it will be much easier for me to meet someone if i'm out of the closet. My biggest struggle is who to come out to first. Ideally I'd take what I consider the chicken route and just do a post on social media, because that would get the job done, but there are too many varied people on there that don't all need to know. At the beginning of the year I made it one of my new year's resolutions that I would come out to at least one person this year and identified two co-workers (one that I still presently work closely with and is a member of the LGBT community, but I don't feel that personally we're that close that sharing this might be overstepping a boundary, the other is a former co-worker that I'm much closer to and feel I can talk pretty easily too, but any time the previously mentioned co-worker and her partner (another co-worker) get brought up, my friend always states that she is totally fine with it, but then acts like she can't understand how women who have previously been in relationships with men can be gay) so neither of them really seem like the best choice. Then as far as my family is concerned, I feel like my mom and sister will be open and possibly may even suspect it, but they live far away and we don't really talk much on the phone so it's hard to find a good time to tell them. I initially thought it would be really weird to send them an email explaining it, but now am starting to reconsider. Any other tips/suggestions? Thanks!
     
  2. Worker Bee

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2017
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Manchester
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    There's no right or wrong way. Everyone is different and each person has their own level of comfort when it comes to revealing information about themselves.

    I came out by email. Tho I hadn't planned to. After a rough breakup my ex threatened to phone my parents and tell them.

    Now I need to come out for a second time I feel the need to do it in person as I want to change my name. I am worried about it but I don't want my mom to find out any other way.

    I'm not too good with social situations and explaining myself. I am much better with the written word.

    You could maybe email them and then follow up with a phone call a couple of days later.