Sorry if this isn't the right thread...I just really need to get this out to a group of people who would understand. Since it's not something I feel really comfortable talking to any of my friends about (no matter how open I am about my sexuality). For a long time now I have been wondering about this label I put on myself. "Bisexual". I remember having a real interest in guys, but only one solid crush on one. I even broke up with the girlfriend I had at the time in part because of it (but also in part because she was a rather horrid girlfriend). I have never had a boyfriend. Just two girlfriends, both of which weren't very good for me. But I still find myself wanting a girlfriend more than a boyfriend. Hell, the thought of even connecting with a male on an emotional level doesn't even exist. I have had sex with one...and hated it. I do know about females and virginity, but...the last time I tried any sort of thing like that, when it came to the act itself...I couldn't do it. Anymore these days I find myself wanting a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend. This has been normal to me, but such exclusivity makes me wonder if I have categorized myself as the right thing. My brother even asked me if I was more than just bisexual, and I couldn't answer him at all, because I don't even know. I mean, I still appreciate the male body. I still find some guys hot, and oogle them just as shamelessly as I oogle women. I can feel that pull of attraction, but still don't really want anything sexual to do with them. At all. Has anyone else had such a big problem with this before? It has been bugging me for years...that I can't figure out just where I lie on the spectrum. If you have had this problem before, was there anything you did to figure it out?
well i appreciate the female body and the eyes especially but sexually i do feel no attraction i can hold a woman and not feel an attraction. im gay i have a friend and when i hug him i really feel more than anything i did with a woman when i was in denial, im sorry youve had bad relationships but its life and you will meet someone who will make u happy all i can suggest is take a little longer to get to know the next woman you fancy make sure shes good for you it can be all to easy to jump at an oppertunity to have someone ... i know :S
Like always, ill refer back to the "kinsey scale" "bisexual" does not have to mean you swing both ways equal. Most people would fall under some form of bisexuality, its just alot of these people might never act on the limited feelings to the opposite sex they have. If your a 6 on the scale, your fully gay, 1 is fully straight, and the closer you get to either side the more you swing to that gender. (maybe its backwards? but it does not matter, same principal) So feel free to call yourself "bisexual, but leaning towards women" or just "bisexual" if your confidant you still have some form of weird, but real, feelings for men. You dont actually have to have or enjoy sex with them to be attracted to them. If your confidant you could never be with a man, you could always just call yourself "lesbian" as well! If you have to take that back later cause you meet a guy, your not going to have the lesbian mafia on your ass dont worry (thats only used when someone burns lots of flannel) The thing about all these terms is that they are just words at the end of the day. If i call you a man your not going to magically grow a penis (i hope) So just be "Haiiro" dont be "Bisexual, leaning towards women" because your body will tell you who your attracted to, not what you label yourself.
Does the label really matters ? You are who you are. You feel attracted to both men and women but have more emotionnal connection with women so far, fine. There is nothing wrong there. If you fall for a woman that's fine, but if ever you fall for a man, that's fine too. You have to do what you are comfortable with and be with who you are comfortable with. If you feel more comfortable calling yourself a lesbian, then go for it. It won't change who you are, but maybe it helps you to feel more comfortable in your own skin. This beign said, calling yourself a lesbian shouldn't prevent you to get a boyfriend if you ever fall for a man. The only important thing here, once again, is to be comfortable both with yourself and with the person you are with, no matter which gender he/she is. Take care, Eleanor
You can just be who you are! I know that a label seems really confusing, but think of it this way: If you are bi and you end up with a woman, you are still bi. If you are bi and end up with a man, you are still bi. I wouldn't go about changing any labels just yet until you've really got it figured out. Get some more experience, and really peg everything down. Until then, just stick with this label. It'll make things less confusing in the long run. Best of luck!
You are quite right there. I suppose I just wanted to be a little more sure of it...especially when it comes time to tell my parents face to face. And to be a little...less confused. But I definitely will keep it in mind that these are just words and I am who I am. I suppose it really doesn't (like I said above), but it always helps to have something to call oneself, rather than floating in a sea of confusion. At least, that's how I kind of feel about it. I suppose it doesn't help either that there is a bit of stigma in the gay community against bisexuals...at least around here. Which means it feels just a little more isolating to not even be sure about just who I am. Thank you for the advice. You guys are great. I don't know why I let this bother me as much as I did. It really was messing with me for quite a bit there.
I understand I will look at guys and think wow he's cute but there's nothing more there for me. Don't worry about the label just be you
