When I was 12 years old I told my mum I was gay. I'm 15 now. Ever since I told her I felt ready to tell everyone but she won't let me. She thinks I'll be bullied (literally I'm not the smallest and could defend myself physically and verbally I honestly could not give two s**ts about). I've told her this before but she is being extremely stubborn. She says I should wait until College & it's not that I'm impatient but recently anytime I see anyone even remotely happy with a relationship ( on tv or in real life ) I will start crying because I can't have that yet. I know I'm in the ideal situation as she is very supportive of my being gay and I have told her side of the family, but I can't stop myself wanting everyone to know. I feel privileged to say this but I've never seen any homophobic bullying ever which frustrates me more because I can't see a reasonable reason not to say anything and I know coming out doesn't automatically mean I'll have a boyfriend but what I want is to be honest with the people I care about. My grandfather died last year not knowing and that hurt me more than his death. What should I do? I've considered coming out behind her back and also posting my gayness on Facebook but just can't betray her like that. ( but if internet strangers tell me to I definitely will ):bang:
It's your choice. If you feel like you're ready, and you feel like you'll be ok, then there's no reason that you shouldn't. Yes, you could end up with some backlash, but if you're prepared to deal with it you probably don't have to worry too much. It shouldn't be up to your parents whether or not you come out. My dad tried to tell me not too, and I did it anyway and everything was fine. If you're worried about how she will react, you could try talking to her first, maybe tell her that you feel ready and that it's important to you and try to convince her that it's ok to do it now. If she still won't budge, it's your choice whether to do it behind her back or not, I can't tell you one way or the other. If it was me, I would do it, but every situation is unique and what has worked for me might not work for you. I'm glad that I came out when I did, it opened up possibilities for relationships that I didn't have before, and in my case it has helped a lot with dysphoria. I think if you're in an accepting area and you're ready to do it there's no real reason not to go ahead, and in my experience I definitely felt better once I was out.
I agree with Najlen. It is entirely your choice! If you feel you're ready then go for it I felt a lot better once I came out to my friends. It was hard for me for a while coming to terms with it myself but my friends helped me, they showed their support and told me they were proud. It can be very hard growing up trying to hide who you are for so long, and although there is a chance people won't accept it or you'll get bullied as your mum says it's worth it for your own happiness. Although, if you have good friends you hang out with who care about you then there should be no need to worry about being bullied It seems like it makes a lot more sense to tell than not to in your case
This is not your mums choice. This is your life. Your decision to make. If you feel ready then do it. I think your mum is just trying to keep you protect you from certain people. I've not told my mum but it's good that she doesn't that's the fact you are gay so build on that. But honestly I say it's amazing you feel comfortable and go for it if nothing else is stopping you. Liam
As a mother I can say how much we worry that our kids are going to be bullied and teased and be hurt. It is so painful to think our kids are hurting BUT you need to do what is best for you. Give your mom a big hug and tell her you will be okay and it's hurting you more to hide who you are. Then give her another hug (we love hugs) and tell her you need to do this. Youre a great kid to not want to betray her but you need to be happy. Do you have an aunt or uncle or someone who can confide in and can sit down with both of you for support?
