I came out to my friend a few weeks ago and she said she was fine with it. She asked me a bunch of questions and she always seems fine when I talk to her about this girl I really like. But then tonight we were iming and she was telling me about this guy she used to go out with. And then she said "he just changed his status...he said 'i'm going to visit (friend's school) tomorrow'...f****t" and then I thought she meant that it was part of his status. But then she said "omg i'm so sorry, it just slipped out" and now I don't know what to do. I'm pretty mad that she said that about him, especially since she knows about me, and that she must use it often enough for it to slip out, but she's been my best friend since sixth grade. What should I say to her? (if anything)
I don't think it would hurt to let her know that you don't really approve of that term. It isn't a nice word, the way she used it, and if she is your friend, then she should at least take the time to consider how you feel about something she says. Don't do it in a demanding way (it's like people telling me not to say 'god damn it'...if they get all uppity at me, then I'll do it just to piss them off.), but ask her gently. Hopefully she'll understand.
Its not her fault, blame society. Its a habit thing for most people. I slip in a "thats so gay" once a week atleast. I used to beat myself up about it, but i realized thats just stupid. It was SO ingrained in me from when i was in the closet to say that that it just became a habit. I do slowly get better, i say it less and less all the time, but it slips out without ANY control over the matter. Its like that for alot of people too. You cant really blame the person though. Definitely dont avoid her or make a big deal out of it or anything else rash. Your just making a mountion out of a mole hill Some things you can do however? A simple reminder of "hey, its not cool to use that word, not just around me but in general" works. Dont be snark, cross or mean. Just say it as a nicely as you can. If she apologizes like you said she did, just accept her apology and tell her that its ok, but again remind her to try and not use that word.
Hi there! I think it would be good if you would let her know how you feel about it. At least she realized that she made a 'mistake' which might lead her to think more about what she says the next time around. That said, sometimes we say things not thinking about the wider implications or we think there is nothing wrong with saying it. It happens, and there is very little we can do about it. After all we are all humans, and we all make mistakes. When you do decide to talk to her, try to be as calm and polite as possible and just let her from where you are coming from on this. Given that she is your best friend and you know each other for some time, I think she'll understand.
