Okay this is complicated and i'm not the best at explaining things so please bear with me:icon_redf . I'm not entirely sure if i'm bi or gay, but suffice to say i am at least attracted to the same sex, if not others. I would love to be out just for the sake of being out, but there is an overwhelming amount of things to consider. My dad works at colleges and is looking for a different one to work for, & i'm likely to get a hefty tuition discount at where ever he works. Problem:help:everywhere he's worked in the past has a been a private christian college, many if not most of which are against homosexuality. However i think/hope my parents have become more accepting/progressive over the years. But there's a still a VERY big chance that the only college i would be able to afford will be one in which i'd have to be closeted to attend:tantrum: And even IF my parents would be completely accepting of me, they may have no choice in the matter, needing to keep a roof over our heads and all. But of course since i'm not out yet, my parents have no clue of my conundrum whatsoever. I'm home schooled and an introvert, so i'm quite the loner, the major exception being theatre club, most of whose members are conservative: so not really any nice, accepting friends to talk to. The progress of self acceptance has taken long, and now i feel as if i don't have any options. I feel incredibly distant from my family because they don't know who i really am and i find it hard to see a future. Any advice would be most welcome
Coming out is a process with many stages. We tend to focus on the moment we tell other people, but if we want our coming out to go well, with as little drama as possible, we need to think about it and plan ahead. We need to decide how we are going to come out and when and resist the temptation to rush into it as soon as we reach the point of self acceptance. It can be hard to resist because we have taken so long building ourselves up, but coming out is not a race. You described the difficulties of your personal circumstances very well actually and now might not be the right time for you. There are many question marks about how it will all go down and you need to ask yourself if you are prepared for a bad or hostile response, especially when you have little external support. How would you cope? Many people choose to wait until they are financially secure and living independently, with a good support network before they come out parents and close relatives. I know this can seem like a long and distant dream when you are still very young, but it doesn't mean you are making zero progress towards your goal. A good education with excellent grades will open up opportunities for you and springboard you to independence and financial security, so you should see it as a part of your coming out journey to do well at school/college. You can also spend time researching good resources for yourself and parents (for example PFLAG) and really set up a robust plan for coming out. Coming out on a whim, when circumstances are not good can make you more vulnerable, so you must think about it carefully. In the meantime you have this forum as a safe place to come and talk/share your feelings and connect with the LGBT community, of which you are a part.
