So yeah, college started up again today. Barely saw anyone cus there were no lectures for our course, plus it was coursework hand in day so we were all finishing things off at different times. I've got 4 really close friends at uni, 2 of whom I came out to over the break when I was feeling a little crackerjack (can't think of a better way to describe it!). So here's the thing. When I told the two before, it was less about me telling *them* and more about me needing to talk, needing to tell anyone, cus I was having a rough couple of weeks, but I kinda feel like I'm passed that now, and I find myself at a stage where I don't need to tell anyone anymore. I wanna be clear, I'm not hiding this anymore, but right now there's a lot going on, my first set of finals are coming up and whilst I'm feeling a hell of a lot better, I realise that I've got a lot of things I need to work through. Not about me being gay, just other stuff. So for the time being, I've decided not to push the whole coming out thing, I'm kinda putting it on hold for a few weeks. That being said, I'm feeling a bit unsure how to deal with the other 2 friends. I don't not want them to know, and I figure that keeping it from them is gonna create problems. I don't want the 2 that do know to have to watch what they say or keep my secret. On the other hand I don't wanna make a big thing about it. We're all meeting up for coffee before a lecture tomorrow, and I'm kinda tempted to just slip it in. Like wait for someone to ask how my break was and just be really casual and say something like "yeah, good, went home for a couple of days, did some revision, came out, went to the pictures...." Tbh, as I'm writing this I'm kinda wondering why I'm making an issue out of this. I don't think there's gonna be any problem about me being gay, they're really cool people and it's not like I'm worried about their reaction. I just don't wanna get this wrong. So far everyone I've come out to has kinda been because I was so desperate to tell somebody or to talk to somebody, and it was a means to an end. I guess this is my first 'just because' coming out. Maybe I should stop overthinking it. What do you guys think? Anyone else had these kind of jitters or reservations?
Just concentrate on your finals,for now. You really need to have a clear head. When you're ready,then you can decide on what to do. As for jitters,I'd have to say yes. Most people get nervous about coming out,so that's completely natural. It's not a race,you can do this,in your own time. Congratulations on your first outings and I'm sure things will go fine,when you decide to continue the process.
