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Coming out to Roommate

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by kepler05, Mar 30, 2017.

  1. kepler05

    kepler05 Guest

    I'm not 100% sure of my sexual orientation, although my gut says I'm lesbian (I really don't feel attracted to men). Regardless of any labels though, I'm considering talking to my college roommate about how I'm questioning. I currently go to counseling and I've been talking to a friend from home as well as my sister. At first it was really hard for me to talk about, but with each person it has gotten easier and has relieved a lot of stress.

    I'm nervous to tell my roommate because she's a girl and might feel uncomfortable. We aren't very close and don't talk very much. The only reason I'm considering talking to her is because I noticed an "I am an ally" poster on our door next to her name. There's a group on campus pretty much referred to as "Allies" that are supposedly trained to be allies for the LGBT community. I remember her vaguely expressing support for LGBT issues in the past but didn't think much of it. Assuming she is in fact an ally, I think she would be good to talk to. But I'm still nervous about her response and having to remain in such close quarters if she ends up feeling uncomfortable.
     
  2. mnguy

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    Welcome to EC! Hopefully since she's an ally she'll be cool with you coming out to her. At least you can talk to her about LGBT issues openly which would be nice. Straight people aren't interested in everyone of the opposite gender, same for gay people not into everyone of the same gender. If she's really open minded she'll understand that just bc you're lesbian doesn't mean you'll be lusting after her and trying to invade her privacy. Hope this goes well whatever you decide!
     
  3. fireflie

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    She does appear to be an ally, so it would most likely mean that she's going to be supportive of you. However, it may be helpful for you to try to foster a friendship with her before telling her that you're questioning. She may feel a bit uncomfortable because she has to share a room with you, but that would imply that she's not a very good ally.