Hi again, I've felt ready to come out for about a year now because I've had many years to think and I'm certain that I'm at least bisexual. However, I've had to do it when I thought my family were ready. I came out to my brother and sister about 7 months ago. I was watching this show about people coming out to their family and I just felt wracked with anxiety because I knew that I was bisexual. So I asked my brother how he would have felt if that was me. He just said he would be fine and that it wouldn't change anything. I came out to my sister the same day and she just said I'll have to think about it. Since then I tried to ask how she felt and she still hasn't answered that question. She has almost an ambivalent attitude towards bi/gay/lesbian people in general but I'm not sure how she feels and I don't know how to ask. Also I just came out to my mum today and although she said nothing would change and that I'm still her daughter, her body language suggested she was really upset. She also said that maybe it was a phase which I'm certain it isn't. I've left my older brother and dad until last because their reaction is harder to gauge. Both my older brother and dad will say things but don't mean it so I don't know if I can trust them to tell them. My questions are how can I find out how my sister and mum feel, should I give my mum time to process it and how can I tell my older brother and dad? Thanks
Well first of all, anyone who can spell "wracked" is surely the master of her own destiny. OK, that's a bit overboard, but it sounds like you're well-grounded. Re sister, I'd wait, it sounds like she's treading water a bit, trying to figure out what she thinks. Your mom is more important, and first off, you thank her for saying the right thing when she was probably surprised. The right thing being you're still her daughter etc. The phase thing was the wrong thing to say but you will have to educate her. And anyway, sometimes it really is a phase i.e. one-time-crush, but she doesn't know the backstory of what's been in your head for years. Go slowly. You know that information like this "seeps out" so your brother and dad may get wind of it, but if they are respectful they will wait for you to tell them in person. Unless you give your mom permission to tell, of course.
Thank you for your advice. I guess it is important for me to come out and be fully honest with my family because we are really close and I'd want to feel comfortable with relationships with women. It's just hard because I get a bit nervous when I actually have to explain why I feel the way I do. So would it be wise to have another conversation with my mum to elaborate on why it's not just a phase? And then I think it would be easier for me to come out to my brother and dad after that
