So, most of my life I thought I was straight, but I think it was around the end of last year that I had suspected that I might be bi and after about a month or two of thinking, I decided that it's true. In retrospect, there were some hints that I was bi in my teen years, but I didn't consider myself bi due to the fact that I was only physically attracted to guys and not sexually/emotionally attracted. However, that's not the case anymore as the more I think about it, the more I really like the idea of having sex with another man. With that said though I can't say I'm emotionally attracted to men. While I wouldn't rule out the possibility of me being in a serious relationship with a guy, I have always preferred women. I just can't see myself dating another guy because I'm more of the type to hang out with guys over dating one. I'm already over the struggle of coming to terms with my sexuality, but there are still things about it that are still scare me. One of the things is that I've never been in a relationship before. Mainly because I'm not the most self-confident person and have problems like anxiety disorder and social problems, stuff that I was no stranger to before bisexuality, but now I'm thinking of things that bother me now. Will I lose my virginity to a man or a woman, will I have my first kiss with a man or a woman? Ideally it feels the most right to me with a woman, but I don't want to miss out with guys either. Now to get to my main problem, coming out. This is something that's been stressing me out ever since I found out. Now granted, I did come out on this other site that I'm a part of, but they're very accepting of the LGBT community and even a few people on there identify as such. Still I doubt it beats coming out in person or to someone I actually know. But there's one thing that I can't bring myself to do at the moment. Coming out to my parents. It wouldn't be as much as a problem if it wasn't for this one thing, my homophobic stepdad. Even though I don't have much of a connection to him and want to cut him out of my life as soon as I move out, I still don't want him to know this. I could tell my mom about this since she pretty much disagrees with my stepdad's views in general, but since she once accidentally revealed a secret that I didn't want to know, I don't trust her in keeping this one. I don't want to tell my dad either and I don't even know why. It's not like he'd disown me or anything for it since I know that he's the type of dad that would love me no matter what. So that only leaves me with a few people I could possibly come out to, but the question is should I? It just makes me feel bad about myself because I feel like I'm hiding myself from people and I just don't know what to do.
So my advice is ultimatley ur happiness is what matters . Confide in trustworthy friend (s) as having support is critical. Regarding coming out to parents it sounds like you are not totally there yet. If possible can u use free LGBT resources or see a gay affirming therapist to help u? And the. There is why worry about the label just to experience what feels right and true to who u are . Telling parents to won't be easy if they don't support u but at end of the day u need to live ur life . I recently was forced to come out to my wife because she caught me having sex with guys by seeing a text . So I shocked her with infidelity and sexuality all at once . But through open honest talks and therapy we are moving in the right direction . Good luck
I can honestly relate, having similar thoughts and being around the same age as you. It honestly depends how you feel about labels. For me, i've always felt the need to label myself. "Don' label yourself, you define yourself", is easier said than done. I started to come out to some people as bisexual when I was 17 or 18 (not to family though). If you asked, I'd come out to you as bisexual. The people I care about (close friends and my siblings) know that i'm not certain about my sexuality and they don't push me or try and swing me one way or another. I believe the term I used was bi-romantic but homosexual. For me, I just tell people I'm bi if they ask, but I don't plan on coming out to my parents or anyone who doesn't understand that sexuality is a spectrum. It's gotten to the point where some days I think "oh well I'm definitely bisexual" and other times where I think "you're lying to yourself If you identify as bisexual". The fact that I bounce back and forth makes me believe that i'm bisexual or at least bi-romantic (but people don't get romantic orientation is different so I just say i'm "bi"). I figure as I enter a relationship for the first time, i'll have a better understanding of my sexuality. My advice to you is this: If you feel uncomfortable about your sexuality, and feel the need to talk to someone or let someone know that you're bi or at least sure you're not "straight", then find someone to come out to that you can trust. The first time I came out to someone was when I was playing video games with a close friend and I bursted into tears. He just pat me on the back, gave me a thumbs up and we continued with our game. You'll find that as you come out to people, and explain to them that you're bi, but that bisexuality is fluid that, you'll start to feel better about yourself - that's at least my experience anyhow. TLDR: Come out when you're ready and you know it's someone you can trust.
