Ok, so the other day I was thinking about coming out to my best friend. Not actually doing it *now* mind you, but how I would/will go about it a few years down the line. I think of all the people in the world on my "will eventually have to come out to" list, she is the scariest. The reason is that we have a very touchy-feely relationship. We hug and hold hands and joke about/ get made fun of for our relationship. We call each other pet names and sign off every conversation with a heart-felt "I love you" and we are champion spooners. Now, I approach this relationship the same way she does: a joking and loving relationship with someone who is a very good friend, but only a friend. I have honestly never thought of her in a sexual way. Our relationship was like this before I realized that I'm gay and has been since. But I'm afraid that when I choose to come out to her our relationship will be misconstrued or it will make her uncomfortable. Has anyone else ever had a situation like this? How did you handle it? I know she is a real friend and I know she is accepting, but I have no idea how I would help her over the initial shock factor. Any thoughts?
I had the same thing with a close(ish) guy friend of mine, he would always jump into my lap, jump in the hammock with me, hug me in public and pretend i was his lover to scare off little girls, ect. ect. so naturally coming out to him was a scary thought as well "What if he gets grossed out by all the times he touched me?" "What if he thinks im in love with him?" "What if he never speaks to me again?" All these questions rushed into my head. Well, i can tell you i was WAY over-reacting When i told him he was SO good about it. It was almost scary how good he was about it. But really, what else should you expect from such a close friend? It often takes more than the fact your gay or lesbian to scare off close friends. This friend is now my closest guy friend (that says alot since i have very few). When you decide to come out to her i recommend making sure she knows that you have NO feelings for her. Make it clear your just friends. That way she has nothing to be scared of So be brave honey! (*hug*) i know you can do this. Shes obviously a good friend and cares about you, so you dont need to worry so much.
I agree with Greg, I think you'll be OK. Just make sure to tell her something like "You know I love you, and that's why I'm telling you this, but I'm not interested in you and I don't want you to worry that I'm trying to come on to you or anything. I'm not."
hey i had that dilema me and my best friend were like that and one night i just told her we stayed up late talking (through txt i was too much of a scared cat to tell her to her face) shes is fine with it and were closer than ever
You've basically said everything you need to say. Now you just need to say it to the right person - her. Lex
i used to but my mate and me are growing apart but i know qhat you mean its fine to have a relationship the way you do i agree with lex u said right stuff just tell the person u need too good luck
