Hello! This is my first post on here, so I hope I'm doing this right! Anyway, I'm gay, and my close friends and some acquaintances know. I'm lucky to be in a really supportive group of friends. Just about all of us are female and LGBT, and they all respect my privacy and understand that I can't come out to everyone, but they are all more open. I have trouble talking about one problem that none of them can relate to. I'm a teenager, the oldest of several sisters, and I don't necessarily want my family to know. I mean, it's easy enough to keep your sexuality from your parents. I've hinted at it multiple times, but they're still oblivious, and I'll come out to them when I'm ready. But my sisters, man. For some reason, it's a lot different. I'm at a different school than my sisters, but the next-oldest will be here in less than two years. I want to be open about it at school, but for some reason, I worry that word will get around to my sister. See, I live in a small town, and just about everyone knows everyone. My high school combines with a much larger town, which already makes me more comfortable coming out. I don't care what people think of me, unless they're my family. But I'm still worried. If I was half as open as my friends but with a sister or her friends at my school, she'd find out in a day. I know I'm being ridiculous with this, but I want to be free. I just wish I could block specific people, like my family, from finding out. You know? What should I do?
I think you should try to weigh the pros and cons of coming out before making a definite conclusion. Try to think through it.
This may seem a bit aggressive/personal/rude (whatever you'd like to call it), but if you want to be open at school, why not your family? From what I understand, there's pretty much no chance you would be able to accomplish this without your family knowing. If the case is either that they're homophobic or them knowing makes you uncomfortable (in which I understand) then it might be best to hold off, and keep it between you and a group of friends. If not, why not come out to your family first?
I understand what you mean because I feel this way too. And I would be out at school if my brother and sister didn't go there too. I see that I must come out to them in order to come out at school, so that should be fun. Nevertheless, it must be done, so I don't know what else to say except that I hope it works out one way or another.
Your story reminds me somewhat of my own. I realized I was gay in high school and wanted to be out but was really worried about what my family thought, I also went to a private Catholic school and one of my Big Brothers (both are actually gay, one was sent to a psychiatrist, 2007 man). Big Brother was a program that paired up incoming freshmen with outgoing seniors and mine were the coolest for obvious reasons! I am out to like two people and THIS IS you we are talking about love. Only come out when you truly ready, I still am not fully out and I understand how difficult this can be. Also, you may want to hold off on telling your family until you are not fully rely on them for shelter, school, basic needs. I really would advise holding off again due to these factors, unless you have another plan after coming out.
