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I don't know why I regret coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Dantrash, Apr 3, 2017.

  1. Dantrash

    Regular Member

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    Hi! I'm a 14 year old bisexual girl who came out to my brother and my parents three days ago. It was good, though I was so nervous that I used words like "I THINK I'm bisexual" (something I'm a bit embarrassed over afterwards). My parents took it well and my brother revealed that he is also bisexual.... I should be super happy and relieved. The thing is though, that I'm not.
    I feel embarrassed and confused and I still don't feel like I got anyone to talk about my feelings with. It's almost like I think that it's a bigger thing than my family do... and everyone who have came out and it went well seems to be so damn happy and I just can't get there. And that almost makes me regret that I came out.

    I'm sorry, this must be really confusing, but it doesn't make sense to me either. All I know is that I came out, it went great, but I still have the exact same feelings as I did in the closet - I feel guilty, confused and scared. Has anyone else ever felt this way?:icon_sad:
     
  2. Lacayda

    Full Member

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    I kinda know how you feel. I felt almost the same when I came out. Many people in the internet say they felt so relived when they came out. Back thrn that really confused me because after I came out I felt even more like an alien in this heteronormative world. (And I thought I had made a big mistake even though I had tried to come out for more than 6 months before I actually did it) Looking back I think I was a little scared my family would treat me different (although my actual coming out went really well).

    I can also relate to the feeling of guiltyness (is that a word?:lol:slight_smile:. I felt ashamed for having certain feelings in certain occasions as well (and this continued for around 2 1/2 months after I came out. I slowly had to learn that these kinds of feeling are really ok to have. And I think that's perfectly normal. Some are just a little faster than others.:lol:

    I think my inner coming out led to learning to live with it and my outer coming out eventually led to really accepting the feelings I have.

    So your feelings of being confused and scared will probably go away eventually (at least mine did) and you will start to be happy that you came out. You just don't have to pretend to be someone else and you can really be yourself which is one of the best things of coming out.:eusa_danc
     
    #2 Lacayda, Apr 3, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 3, 2017
    medamaude likes this.
  3. Dantrash

    Regular Member

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    Thank you Lacayda! Thanks to you I wasn't alone.... I had a long conversation about my sexuality with my mom today and she doesn't know a lot about bisexuality but she's great at listening and being accepting. It's starting to feel good to be out - I'm finally looking forward to going to that pride parade with my best friend!(!)