1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

No idea, why I'm here

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by RoundMyHometown, Apr 21, 2009.

  1. RoundMyHometown

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2009
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    I just wanted to be honest ,in some way.

    Basically for the last year my friends began assuming me as lesbian , from my mannerisms and all these kind of things. As much as I denied it they almost made me believe it. they made me feel that I should have been gay and confused all my feelings.

    However over time, I have realised I am straight and I have no attractions to any females at all, despite them convincing me otherwise.

    I accidentally came across something which led me to believe my best friend was gay, however I don't want to offer her advice or assume her as gay because I know how much hurt that caused me. I guess I should just let her be?

    We do have a very open environmen for sexuality in my group of friends, I hope I'm making the right choice not to ask her or say that I suspect it.
     
  2. Greggers

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2008
    Messages:
    2,698
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    BC, Canada
    The best thing you can do is drop hints thats you would accept her if she was and that she can trust you with anything and that you will always be there for her. Basically just nudge the door open a crack, not the whole way open just a tiny but. Its up to her to decide when she wants to accept the offer and confide in you. As long as you make sure she knows when that day comes you will be there for her 100%, you have done your part :slight_smile:

    And yes, forcing her out of the closet would be a bad move.
     
  3. Eleanor Rigby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,767
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    France
    Hi :slight_smile: I'm another straight woman on this site. Welcome to EC !
    I have a friend that I'm 99% sure is gay. But if there is one thing I have learned from EC (and I am soooo thankful for that guys !), is that it is not up to me to force him to come out. Neither it is up to you with your friend. All we can do, is letting them know we will be here for them and love them no matter what.
    But you can maybe use your personal experience to let her know you will be ok with her beign gay. Maybe you can talk to her about how you felt when you were confused and thought you could be gay, that you had a hard time with this and that even if you're sure now to be straight, you can relate with people who are closeted. Maybe it will help her to come out to you if she wants to. Coming out can take a long time to some people. Beign there when she needs you and be openly supportive of the LGBT community in general is the best way to make her path easier, but remember that it is her path and coming out is something she has to do on her own time.
    Take care, Eleanor