Since I accepted that I was bisexual, I have always been happy with it and felt quite liberated. Although telling people made me anxious, I also felt prepared for their reactions. But I couldn't say that it's been what I expected! I seemed to have prepared myself for the worst possible scenarios like family disowning me, people wanting to hurt me etc not even anticipating that there could be other things in between. The reality is that I'm lucky because my family have been alright so far. But what I have noticed is there is a great deal of ignorance around other people coming to terms with and understanding what I meant when I said I was bisexual. That is frustrating because after I've said the words that I am bisexual and I am mostly attracted to women, they switch off. They say they don't want to hear anything else so I can't be open about why I feel the way I do. I didn't realise how much I took the ability to talk freely for granted until it was taken away! I would like to come out to my friends at some point but based on the response so far, the best I could hope for is ignorance. So how would everyone describe their process of coming out?
Not bisexual, but I sometimes get the same reactions. Some people don't want to hear me talk about girls at all and completely ignore my sexuality. It's like they go in denial. Family has been great though. My Mom is huge LGBT ally and has always been one even before I knew I was gay. She's always encouraged me to talk about crushes and laughs with me about other people's ignorant homophobia.
Among the friends I came out to, I don't really talk about my sexuality often at all. They were all like, "ok", and that was pretty much it. I bring it up sometimes, they're super chill. One guy and I are both into yuri manga so yea that's pretty cool I guess. Except for one of them: the first guy asked "so does that mean you're sexually attracted to girls?" and I was like "It depends on the person" He sometimes uses gay as an insult. I correct him, obviously. Surprisingly, I feel less hurt about it after coming out tho. I came out to another guy friend as "not straight" because I really did question myself a bit last year as to whether I was bi or lesbian. I noticed he was more careful about being respectful when talking about homosexuality afterwards. But sometimes he slips up. Also he became more comfortable with me talking about LGBT related topics. But is seems he has a hard time saying that I am not straight...maybe that's because I haven't came out as queer/bi to him yet? Currently my goal is to find a time to casually come out to him. And then I'll probably come out to two other friends: both are LGBT, so I think they'll be very supportive.
The process of coming out took less than a decade for me. I know it is different for a lot of individuals. I noticed some same sex attraction when I was 11. I consider myself to be bisexual. I also had opposite sex attraction as well. When I was 14, I started questioning my sexuality. I went through a few years of my sexuality shifting from gay to straight and gay to straight. I believe sexuality is vey fluid and complex. By the time I was 18, I came out face to face to a real person for the first time.
It seems like the coming out is more like trial and error! Some people will have an okay reaction but only a few have a supportive reaction. My family's reaction has played out in almost real time on here! My older brother is supportive so far but I want to talk to him a bit more to gauge how he really feels. Coming out has just been a rollercoaster of emotions to the point where I'm not sure I would want to tell friends. They are kinda nosy but probably wouldn't understand anyway.
I'm not out to too many people, just my mom and some people at my theater. My mom was neither accepting nor against it, sort of a grey area. She basically had a long "talk" with me (and by talk, I mean it consisted of just her talking) about how I "don't know for sure" and that "I'll grow out of it." Over three years later, still pretty gay. Sorry mom. At theater, everyone has been very supportive. They are a second family to me. Not too many people know, mostly just the people I talk to most/the older teens (there are some younger kids in my show, the youngest being about 11). A lot of them are LGBT themselves, so no problems there. I've always felt safe and loved with them.
Yeah SilverSilence I had a pretty much identical scenario with my mum initially! I've found that there are just some things mothers (and in my case pretty much my whole family) won't understand. Although I've only just come out to them, I have known I was bi for years...so I am pretty sure I won't grow out of it either!!!
