I recently turned 18 and I'm finally ready to come out to my parents. Just wondering if any of you have some advice on how to go about doing this as I literally have no clue lol. What do I say? How do I bring up the topic in the first place? Thanks
Hi so I am a parent of three kids 21-27, I think you should sit down with them and just tell them about your happiness and that you have thought deeply and searched your heart , and tell them that you are the same son they have loved since the day you were born and you love them unconditionally. And tell them you are gay and so happy to tell them . It is a straight forward bold way but no parent wants their kids unhappy period .
Hey kablam999, Welcome to EC! First if/when you Come Out to them is your choice. You should only do so if you feel comfortable with the it and if it is safe for you to do so (for example, if you are still dependent on your parents financially, for housing, etc and there is even a small chance that they may disown you when you Come Out, you may want to consider waiting until you are completely independent). From the tone of your post, it sounds like you are comfortable with the idea of Coming Out to them at this point and are trying to figure out how to do it. There is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to Come Out. There is only what works best for you. Do you feel that you want to do it face-to-face, via a letter, via a text, or some other method? What to say? Well, of course, the only important thing you have to say is "I'm gay." When I came out to my closest friends and family, it was always hard to get the words out and I wanted to set a serious tone, so I prefaced what I said by asking them if I could tell them some very personal and private information about myself. Even after that, it can take a while to get the actual words out. You should prepare yourself that their initial reaction may not be their final reaction. You've had your whole life to come to terms with your sexuality, so they may very well need some time to really understand and accept the information that you are telling them. They may have a lof of questions (some common ones are: "Are you sure?" and "How do you know?"). To that end, you might consider pointing them to some resources to help them to better understand what it means for them to have a gay son. For example, you might download and print something like the Our Children pamphlet for them. I hope some of that helps. I wish you all the best!
I would suggest choosing a quiet time where your parents can listen and hopefully respond to you. Even though it seems scary, coming out in person allows you to use body language as well as words: your parents will know this is important. If you feel too nervous about talking first, try handing them a letter. +1 to having resources on hand for their questions because problems like homophobia are rooted in ignorance and fear of the unknown.
