Okay, so...lame. There's a friend of mine, and I've kind of had an inconvenient crush on him anyway. It's a conservative group of people (largely evangelical-Christian homeschoolers and homeschooler graduates...) --I need a better variety of friends at home-- Anyway, I SWEAR he's gay, but I don't know. (I'll catch myself flirting sometimes, but before I stop myself, I notice that he's returning it...) I'm not sure if he's gay or not, and if he is, I don't know if he even knows it. I decided to tell him about me. He didn't say what he thought about it, or anything about him, but he did show this *completely* unexpected depth of caring. Argh. Darn boy just made this a lot more complicated. I could lean into the welcome support of his friendship, let that grow and get deeper, and know that I very likely could fall for him, and that not be what he would want. I mean, it's possible that maybe yes, he could be gay, and possibly willing to accept that, and BANG! You have the possibility of a relationship. Or, he's straight (or even if he *is* gay, and is in either denial or can't accept it), and I have a new close friend...but one that ends up becoming a setup for unrequited love. And...that would suck. But then, right now, any kind of support is more than welcome, and his caring is an incredible comfort. Dammit. This is stupid. And so am I.
Oh come on thats not "lame" at ALL. You should just do exactly what you said. You have a good plan there. Dont worry too much about "unrequited love" because it often gets strangely easier to get over someone when you know for sure they are NOT into you.
Hi there! First off, it's not lame nor is it stupid! Try to keep in perspective. Always assume someone to be straight unless they tell you otherwise. You have already mentioned something important: allowing him to get to know you, and allow yourself to get to know him better. Let that happen, let that fall into place. If nothing happens, at the very least, you have is a closer friendship. He already has shown you that he cares about you. Build on that. Sometimes, when we get to know someone better, we can see things that might allow us to take a step back. Try to take it easy, and take your time in getting to know him.
You're not lame at all. If he is gay, then make sure that you truly care for him before you tell him you are crushing on him. If he's in the closet, be a good friend and listen to what he has to say and offer him advice. You could really help him that way. I hope that this friendship will work out for you.
