I've known from a very young age that I liked guys, but I knew that I liked girls as well.I can remember at about 5 playing house with my friends and feeling the most free to be me. I grew up with three best friends, Two girls and one boy. For me I never cared if i was the boy and girl couple playing house or if was the girl and girl couple because regardless I would get the chance to kiss a cute girl or a cute guy. However, our Friend group didn't stay as close as we were because no one wanted to be in the girl/girl relationship anymore but me. I was ten the first time I was the punch line of "what are you gay" joke. It was then that i decided, I would live a straight life and it wasn't hard to live since I was already attracted to guys. But the older I got the more i couldn't ignore that fact that I was attracted to females. I was in 8th grade the first time I fell head over heels for a girl, sadly for me she was my best friend and a straight girl. Throughout high school I had a serious relationship with a boy, he was my first love and the first time i ever felt that connected to anyone. So I thought that liking girls was just a phase and I was straight after all. It was until I met a girl in college that made me smile just the way he did and it was the best time of my life. College was exactly what I need it for once since I was 5 i felt like me again. It was strange in college I didn't have to act a certain way or even come out. People just knew and welcomed me for me. I guess you can say I luck out. However, i'm transferring this fall back to a school closer to home and no one knows about me being bisexual. I didn't fully accept it myself until couple months ago. I don't want to go back into hiding who I am, but I've listen to my friends and family judge and makes jokes and it hurts. I don't want to lie anymore but I don't know how to come out. I go home in two weeks to set up my classes and i want to come out to my best friend first but I don't want the friendship to change.
Hey Free2thee, Welcome to EC! That’s so sweet! You are not alone! The most important thing is for you to understand and accept your own sexuality. Each of us come to that in our good time. It’s not a race. It’s about understand and accepting ourselves. Unfortunately, it is a journey that no one else can take with us. We can have outside support (or unwanted confusing influences, such as expectations set by our heteronormative society), but we have to take this journey ourselves. You say that you know who you are at this point, which is excellent! Being openly bisexual can be hard. There are many people who either don't believe that bisexuality is a 'reality' or who don't want a bisexual partner for various reasons, such as assuming that we can't be faithful/monogamous because we will always be hankering for 'something' that our current sexual partner can't provide to 'fulfill' us. It's ridiculous, since we are no different from anyone else in terms of our needs, wants, and our ability to commit to a long-term/everlasting relationship. However, because of all of the biphobia and misunderstanding that exists among the general population, it might not be the best option to be an 'open' bisexual. By that I mean, be open with your close friends and family if you want them to know and to whom (hopefully) it won't be a problem, but not necessarily be open to anyone you date or have a romantic interest in until you decide that it's pretty serious and that you might want to have a long-term relationship with them. At that point, the way that I see it, if they can't accept your bisexuality (knowing you and your commitment to them at that point), then a long-term relationship with them isn't realistic. In terms of Coming Out to your best friend, well, you know what, if she REALLY is your best friend, she will accept you for who you are. I was scared as s*it to Come Out to my best friend. He was the very first person I Came Out to because I thought he would be the most accepting (which he was, totally), but even the slight chance that I could lose him as my best friend terrified me. I guess that in the longrun, though, if he wouldn’t have accepted me for whom I am, while it would have been devastating emotionally, if I moved on with my life, I still had to be who I am. And I’m betting that your best friend won’t really care, just accept you (after, perhaps, being shocked (or not) at first). (If she’s the one you had a crush on in high school, just don’t tell her about that for now. You can ‘come clean’ about that later. You don’t want to overwhelm her with things outside her comfort zone right at the start.) As far as your family goes, it depends on their personal points of view, but I’ve found that bisexuality is often misunderstood and that there is a much greater degree of biphobia than homophobia (heck, some of my gay friends were biphobic – at least until I had at them, LOL!). So, I would recommend that you help educate those around you as you Come Out. There are several websites that can help you with responding to common biphobic prejudices/stereotypes, such as: The Bisexual Index | What is Bisexuality? https://bisexual.org/qna_categories/bisexuals/ I wish you all the best!
