I've come out to several friends as genderqueer and pansexual and that went well. The main people I'd like to come out to are my mom and brother. I know I can never come out to my dad because I came out as bisexual to my parents a few years back and he reacted horribly. My mom said she'd accept me no matter what, so I'm not absolutely terrified about coming out to her. Most of my family are Christians so I'm pretty scared to come out to them but I'd like to at some point. I'm also worried about my brother. He heard that I had a crush on a girl and gave me the whole Bible speech. So bottom line is, Should I come out at all? How should I do it? To whom should I do it? I'm just super confused...
The1nkling...As so many people here on EC will share with you....coming out is your choice. It is a very private thing that you and only you should have the right to decide who to and when to tell. Not everybody needs to or for that matter has the right to know unless you choose to tell them. In some cases it won't accomplish anything except making an already difficult situation worse. In others it will allow you to finally be your "real" self around those people who are very important to you. I quite understand the Religious/Christian aspect of your dilemma...you see I am the "Religious/Christian Patriarch" as it were of my family and I am the one who is gay! What a situation! After months of though and consideration....and yes, prayer, I did come out to my wife. We do love each other and she has accepted me. She is an angel. I came very near to death before an emergency surgery last November, so I choose to make sure my eldest son knew all the details of finances, etc. to help his mother if I didn't make it...I also chose to tell him I was gay. I did not want him to find out after I was gone from someone else. I felt he should hear it from me. I am very fortunate that he too has accepted me. It has been difficult for my son and my wife, but our love has kept us together. If you feel that your family can love and accept you in spite of Religious/Christian beliefs, then share with them. It will certainly take pressure off of you and allow you to be the "real" you around them. I have to say that it is a wonderful feeling. However, (there always seems to be a however!) if it seems that they will reject you or refuse to accept what you tell them, then it may be better to wait...perhaps time will mellow their attitudes and you will be able to share with them at a later date. Things like this are very difficult, as you obviously already know. I wish you the best of luck. As a kind of side note....if you wish I can share with you an overview of the very in-depth study that I have done concerning the passages in the Bible that are usually used to condemn LGBTQ individuals. I also can direct you to some youtube videos that are very helpful and are not antagonistic or insulting. They are easy to understand and present the whole LGBTQ situation in a way that anybody can understand.....David
thanks so much for your reply! I just kinda wanted to get my situation out there and see what people have to say. I'm so glad your coming out went well. I actually have a relative that is gay that I'd like to come out to at some point. there's something so empowering about coming out idk
