Hi everyone. A little sad at moment. Sort of admitted to myself that I am at least bi and possibly even gay. Was married previously to a woman and have a 7yr old daughter. Now divorced. Have sort of "come out" to my ex wife but not really acted upon it. Complication is that I have now moved nearer to extended family who are very traditional. The other issue is that I have joined a church. Whilst they are quite liberal and modern the pastor has said that whilst they wouldn't "reject" someone in a same sex relationship they would stand by the church teaching of a relationship being between a man and a woman. I asked him this by saying I had met someone in town who was looking for a new church but was themselves in a same sex relationship. I want to be true to myself and don't want to dismiss the idea of meeting MR Right, even though I not the best looking so prob won't happen anyway, but feel I risk losing a lot of my family and friends if I ever did. Hence why I am thinking I should live a lie. At end of day I am now 42 so maybe I should. I am even chatting with a lady on a dating site as I feel this is what is expected of me. Wrong I know. Could do with a few virtual hugs at moment esp if people been in similar situation and come out the other side. :help: Xx
Hi Jamie Why do you think that you would loose family and friends if you came out? Just asking this as I was the same age as you when I came out and had all the same fears that you have.The two family members (dad an brother) I thought I would loose actually turned out to be totally accepting and would have stopped any one from calling me about being gay.I also happen to live in a very rural part of Lincolnshire,thirty years behind the times. It may be easier to live a lie as heterosexual but in the long run it wont be the healthiest option.Just by asking the question here, you are obviously aware of your same sex attraction and trying to suppress these feelings could play havoc with your mental health. If I were you I would be thinking that you are 42 years old and it is time to start living life for you and if any one else doesn't like it that's there problem not yours.Just stop and think,how many people are living there lives just to make you happy.- - None I bet,so why should you live your life to please any one else.I have found that a few friends have drifted away since I came out but I have met just as many new ones who accept me for who I am. If you feel that you should be with a man then please don't get involved with another women.It is not fair to her and she deserves to be with someone who is into women and can satisfy her sexually. Good luck for the future,but I think you need to do some soul searching before making any final decisions on what or who your future holds and your future happiness.
