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Gay dates????

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by malachite, Apr 23, 2009.

  1. malachite

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    This might seem like a dumb question, but I’ve never been on a date with a guy before…only women. I'm a little confused on the chain of events. Usually the guy does all...stuff. So, I guess my question is...on a gay date who pays? Do I pick the other guy up? Do I walk him to the door? Again this might seem silly, but I'm new at this.

    :grin:
     
  2. someguy82

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    It depends. I've been on dates where we spilt everything, and I've been on dates where the other guy paid for everything (and vice versa). It really probably does just depend on the circumstances, and I don't that there are generic societal rules across the board for gay dates like there are for straight couples dating (most of those are pretty outdated though).
     
  3. EM68

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    All of the dates I have been very similar to dates that I have gone on with women. Usually on the first date we would split the tab then we would go from there on subsequent dates.
     
  4. littledinosaurs

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    you can make the rules
    its your date!
    you decide who pays and such things.
    splitting is the best idea though.
     
  5. Greggers

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    When i "date" my female friend she pays every time.

    So break the rules if you like, they are yours to play with as you like :slight_smile:
     
  6. Lexington

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    Totally up to both of you. It's best if you talk a bit about it first, but there's some general guidelines you can (but don't have to) follow.

    * The person who asks the other out on a date (the "asker") might offer to pay. The askee certainly doesn't have to accept, and it's usually best if he says "No, that's cool - we can split the check", or else say "Well, if you pay for dinner, let me buy the movie tickets" or "OK, but I'll pay next time.
    * If one of the two outearns the other, and suggests a more upscale restaurant, that tends to suggest that he'll pay. If the askee isn't sure about that, he might say "Is that place pretty pricey?" That'll be the asker's cue to say "Oh, don't worry about that - I'll take care of it."

    As far as picking up goes, treat it like you would a friend. Whatever's more convenient for both of you. If that means one of you picks the other up, great. If it means you meet at the restaurant, great.

    Lex
     
  7. Just Adam

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    just decide whos the woman for the night... of course later on in the evening it may catch u out :wink: lol but that way if you decide your the woman of the night then he pays and walks u to your door lol then u as him in for coffee :wink: lol
     
  8. Kenko

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    Lex's advice, as usual is pretty good. A factor of the asker and income.

    And what's with all the sexism? Even in the hetero world it's OK for the woman to ask / pay.

    I'm not a big one for formalities anyways. I've met up at a bus terminal before.
     
  9. Just Adam

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    im not sexist i asure you im just a gentlemen.. hey but if someone else wants to pay you wont find me trying to hard to stop them hahaha go for it...money saved is money spent on something i want
     
  10. tallship

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    ooh you mercenary lol:thumbsup:
     
  11. Just Adam

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    *looks for eyepatch
     
  12. SAGUY84

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    I've only been on dates with 2 different guys.

    With the first, we split the costs.

    When I was with the 2nd guy (my ex) I payed (the earnings were a factor here) and I picked him up (i have a car and license, he didn't)
    Coincidentally, i was also the more 'masculine' out of us (and he was happy to let me pay for everything:rolleyes:slight_smile:
     
  13. Just Adam

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    funny how he was happy to let u pay hehehe

    " its ok ill pay "
    " oh you sure "
    " yea i got it "
    " i dunno i feel bad about it "
    " its fine "
    " well if you insist "

    :grin:
     
  14. SAGUY84

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    LOL, i didn't care at the time, i had plenty of money to burn. However he got used to it and it set the tone for the whole relationship. You learn from your mistakes tho:wink:
     
  15. Just Adam

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    awww you were super sweet though, very cute :kiss: hehe

    i always think going halves is good say ill pay for yours u pay for mines its redundant as its the same but its one of them cheesey things that makes u smile lol
     
  16. SAGUY84

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    I think the next guy i date can pay for me:thumbsup:
     
  17. malachite

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    Thanks for all the advice guys. Especially you, Lex. You always seem to know what to say. If I could describe you in word I think it would be…Wise.

    Now if I can just muster up the nerve to ask this guy.

    :kiss: