Hi I'm a 47 year old male, I've had sexual feelings towards men since I was 16/17 I guess. Feelings that have only gotten stronger over the years. Long story short I came from an environment that was very heterosexual. 3 years ago I came out as Bi to my friends and family to positive endeavours. But I am very down and on the brink of depression, For some reason I can not accept my sexuality within my self. I have searched for reasons why but just can not understand why, I come out with no hassle but still can not feel happy within, really struggling to understand why? would love some help and guidance and advice from anyone who has had like wise battles. xx
Hey there. I'm Cam. I'm not sure I can help but wanted you to know someone had read your post. You haven't mentioned how you feel towards women. Is there a chance you might be gay?
Axl666....This is kind of a tough one!! You say that you've come out as bi to friends and family, but not to yourself. That is a little bit backwards as people usually come out to themselves first and others later. I don't know if coming out Bi has something to do with it...It's very common for a guy to come out as bi and then later come out as gay. The thought being that Bi is not as "bad" as gay. If you're Bi then you still like girls at least some, but if you're gay then you completely reject romantic relationships with girls....it just seems more extreme to may people. The most important part of this entire situation is for you to make choices about and to yourself. Nothing requires you to come out to anyone until you are ready and you want to. Spend time looking at yourself, thinking about yourself. How do you react to those around you? Who gets your attention first in a crowd? Do your eyes lock on a guy's butt or a chicks chest? Those "little" things could really help you find out who you are attracted to! Good Luck!! It didn't take me long to figure out that a guy in tight jeans was a lot more interesting than a girl in a bikini!!......David
Hi Axl, I can attest to the depression/sadness of the situation. I only recently (2-3 months ago) started feeling attraction to the same sex, and I can tell you I wake up everyday feeling sad, then anxious, then ok, then the roller coaster starts all over again. I made a post about this where I say I wake up each day feeling like I have a broken heart without even dating anyone recently. I think it's normal. Another member was kind enough to write about the fact that discovering our sexual orientation also involves a grieving process...I think this is very true. Just breathe, take each day as it comes (in my case right now sometimes I have to remind myself to breathe every hour...anxiety is killing me right now). Thank goodness for this forum. We're here for you. Take care and hang on. Give it time. ♥♥♥ PS Quebec/David, I love your last sentence. You actually made me smile, which is a rarity these days, so thank you. It's funny, I feel the same as you but in reverse...I'm a woman who is starting to find a girl in tight jeans way more interesting than a guy in a bikini! Haha!
No I know I'm not gay as I find women very attractive, more so than men, just the thought of sex is hot with a man as it is with a woman, but don't actually fancy men?? ---------- Post added 21st Apr 2017 at 08:02 PM ---------- I know Rana, thanks for your kind words. I wish I could just say I'm gay and deal with that because I feel I could, but deep down I know I'm not but crave the feelings of sex with men. How can one form a relationship not knowing whom they want to be with, hate the thought of lying or leading someone on xx really makes me sad.:tears:
Speaking purely from my own experience, I think a lot has to do with our own ability to accept the feelings we have. I know I used to never care for gay porn and never watched it. I found guys attractive, but never pictured anything sexual really. But then as I started allowing myself to have those thoughts, things have changed some. Now I'm realizing how much I truly want an emotional, romantic connection with a guy. Every aspect of a relationship with a guy, each thought, seems to give me a charge thru my body and a smile on my face that I just don't feel the same with the thought of a woman. Kinda strange how I'm seeing much more clearly now how sort of ambivolent I was in my previous relationships with women.
