Struggling

I think it's becoming inevitable that I'll have to talk to my parents about my gender dysphoria. My mom found a necktie I'd hidden in my room the other day (we haven't talked about it but I know she saw it), and I think it's been getting kind of obvious that I'm non-cis. I haven't worn skirts, jewelry, or long hair for almost a year except when I have a practical need to (laundry days, church, etc.), and a few months ago when I wanted to go on a GSA field trip to protest an anti-trans bill proposal my mom even asked if I was trans, although she was just checking since I'd just come out as liking girls and she was surprised, and I don't think she really thought I was trans.
But the problem is, I have an overwhelming drive to stay hidden. I guess it's a coping mechanism- not actually revealing personal things about myself has always kept me safe from rejection and let me feel some sort of control over my life. Just thinking about being trans, or coming out as trans, makes me feel overwhelming anxiety. The one or two weeks before I came out as liking girls, I felt incredibly anxious and a bit depressed and starting acting in a slightly self-destructive way, and I came pretty close to blacking out on the night I came out. Recently I actually came close to coming out as trans, but nothing fruitful came out of that. What did come out of that attempt afterwards was three or four weeks of migraine, a fit of depression, and a sharp decline in my school performance. I feel like I'm fighting myself and I'm getting scared that I'll never be able to deal with being openly trans.
I'm currently still recovering from my migraine and attempting to catch up on the late work I am still behind on, so I'm not going to push myself to come out anytime soon. But in the meantime, I would really appreciate if anyone has any advice for how to deal with my inhibitions, or stories of similar experiences. Thanks for reading.