Hard Phone Call to Take

I had four messages on the PFLAG infoline on Monday when I checked all from the same lady. She sounded pretty desperate to talk to somebody. I called her back and she proceeded to tell me that her son has been in the hospital for two months in California with AIDS related illnesses. When his roommate found out he had AIDS, he told him he had two weeks to get out of the apartment. The mother told me that her son has had a lifetime of hardships including getting bullied in school, beaten up, ect. Yes, this is a parents worst nightmare! This is her only son. He's 30 years old now. She said he's 6 feet tall and only weighs about 105 pounds now. He sounds like he's probably near death.

The mother was crying hysterically when I was talking to her. She wants to move her son to Oregon so she can take care of him. She wanted to know about doctors here that would be able to care for him. She said "I'm just not ready to lose him." By the time she said that, I was crying too. I told her that I just couldn't imagine what she was going through. She just spent 21 days with him in CA and while she was gone she left her house with a housesitter who robbed her and had parties in her house causing damage to her house and her motorhome. She also has 3 dogs she has to worry about when she goes down there.

I called a woman that works with HIV/AIDS patients. I started crying again when I was talking to her. She said "Becky, you did exactly the right thing for this woman. Now you can 'let it go'. lol Easier said than done. She told me that it was probably likely that she wasn't going to be able to move her son if he's in as bad as shape as what she told us. I did tell her that if she needed to go again, that I would help her find somebody trustworthy to watch her house and dogs while she's gone. I told her that she really needed to take care of herself too and asked if she had supportive people around her or if she was getting counseling to deal with all this. She said she had some supportive friends and family so that is good. I also encouraged her to come to PFLAG. The more supportive, compassionate and understanding people that she can talk to, the better.

She called me back yesterday and she seemed to be feeling alot better. She was laughing instead of crying.

Anyway, it was a hard one. I just want to remind you all to PLEASE have safe sex. No parent should ever have to go through what this woman is.

 

Its hard not to think of myself in that position. I just did what I could to help her. I think any PFLAG mom or dad would have reacted the same way and did what they could to help. I'm proud of all of us that pour our hearts into this work. It really does make a difference.

 

Sadly, this guy used to promote HIV/AIDS education in high school. All it takes is one time.

 

Update: This woman finally made it to a PFLAG meeting last night. Her son passed away on April 28th. She is just devastated. I told her how PFLAG was founded and she started crying then saying that she "should have been coming to this group a long time ago!" I told her that she was there now and that is what is important. She cried throughout the whole meeting. We only had seven people there last night but maybe that was a good thing because we were able to give her so much more support than if we'd had a large group. I have a feeling she's going to stick with PFLAG. She was very grateful for our support. She seems like a really fun person. She's just in a whole lot of pain right now.