I am pretty sure I'm gay, and in a few years, I will have the ability to go to prom. My parents are homophobic, and I don't know how I'm going to get around it. Before prom, I'm pretty sure my parents will want pictures, and I want them to be memorable and truthful. I want to come out to them, but I know if I do, they won't let me go to prom. I don't know what to do. I love my parents, and I don't want them to be disappointed in me, but this is who I am.
This is a pretty tough dilemma tbh. If your prom date is another guy, you could say that you're going as friends and then come out afterwards to your parents whenever you feel ready to do so. Going to prom with a group (even if it's a mix of guys and girls) could be another way to cushion things a bit. As for pictures... I have a couple of friends who are in a gay relationship, and only one of them is out to his family (let's call him person A?)– so before prom they met up at person A's house to take photos. They took honest couple-y photos for themselves and then pictures with a bunch of other friends. They only ended up showing the goofy friendship-ey ones to person B's parents. I know it's a really sneaky thing to do, but I think it's a safe option if you're absolutely sure that they wouldn't let you go to prom otherwise. If you ask me, I'd say you deserve to enjoy your prom as who you are, just like everyone else. Whatever you choose to do, I hope things work out well for you <3
Maybe you can come out to them and see how it goes. Sometimes parents will change their anti-gay views when their own kid comes out. If they do come around to reality and you think they'll be ok with you going with a guy, then you're all set whenever the prom is and if there's a guy you want to go with. If they don't come around to rational thinking then you could work on the alternate plan. Going as a group of friends should work. If you get pics with just you and him and if others know you're actually together, that will probably get out with all the social media and gossip people love to do, sadly. Hopefully your parents will come around by then and it won't be an issue. How many out guys are there in your school that would be potential dates?
I think it depends on how much you're really willing to risk it. If you have a few years, maybe you could try to build them up to being more accepting, like showing them accounts and testimonies countering whatever reasons they have for being homophobic. If they still don't react well, you don't have to tell them, but if they do start to understand a little bit, it might be okay to tell them.
Go with a group of friends and if worse comes to worst, ask a girl to go as just friends and that way you can avoid coming out until you are ready. This is not the best advice and I really feel for you that you are in this situation. The important thing about prom is not who went with a date but how much fun you have with your good buddies and friends. Trust me on that and as for the parent front, I still have not told mine yet, so I know how ya feel.
