At least four months I've told myself "tomorrow I come out" and every day is the same. Four months I've wanted to Come Out to my mom, but something happens. I sit in my room going over my idea to come out, go to get up and...nothing. Fear comes over me and I don't end up coming out. I shouldn't have any fear of coming out, with several reasons. If she wants grandkids, she has 4 other children. She usually watches shows like Will and Grace and she once said "I wouldn't be surprised if J(older brother)was gay" as if he truly was. Yet for some reason, I back out at the last second. I guess what I want to know is how I can overcome this fear. Until then, there's always tomorrow, who knows? Thanks in advance
I'm in the same boat. I want to come out to my dad cause there's a good chance he might be supportive whether he understands it or not. I'm still worried though. I mean there's an equal chance he'll ask the well how do you know for sure if you've never dated a guy (or a girl, there's two ways that question can swing). I know his general attitude is very supportive and accepting and he's more concerned with us being happy than about dumb politics and news shit. At least with your mom she's openly okay with it. Some parents say they already knew, or so i've heard...is there a way you can casually bring up LGBT in conversation, somehow? Like something LGBT related just to gauge her reaction. Who knows you might get lucky and she straight up asks you off of some hinting thing like that.
Oh wow that would be perfect if she just asked me. Sadly, I just missed an open opportunity to bring up LGBT and regret it. Hopefully something else happens in the near-future that helps bring it up. There's also a good chance she may already know, especially if she thinks J is gay. My dad used to call me twinkle toes(I like skipping)so I don't think they are clueless.
Have you been for a swim in a cold pool? If so, you know that feeling when your at the edge of the pool looking at the water. You know the water will be cold. You also know you will get used to it and enjoy the swim. What your afraid of is the initial electrifying sensation of your body hitting the cold water - and the intersection of your warm body with the cold. This sensation, however, only lasts for a few seconds. So, you jump in. You feel the electrifying sensation. As your body quickly adjusts to the temperature, you start to laugh at yourself for being concerned about jumping in the pool to being with. And then you go off swimming. Well, telling parents whom you know will be supportive is similar. All you need to do is jump in!
Have you been for a swim in a cold pool? If so, you know that feeling when your at the edge of the pool looking at the water. You know the water will be cold. You also know you will get used to it and enjoy the swim. What your afraid of is the initial electrifying sensation of your body hitting the cold water - and the intersection of your warm body with the cold. This sensation, however, only lasts for a few seconds. So, you jump in. You feel the electrifying sensation. As your body quickly adjusts to the temperature, you start to laugh at yourself for being concerned about jumping in the pool to being with. And then you go off swimming. Well, telling parents whom you know will be supportive is similar. All you need to do is jump in!
^That was the most perfect metaphor I've ever heard. I second LunarLyric, you can start by initiating general talk about LGBT people. I think it's a bit like sprinkling water to your body before jumping into the pool. It might take some of the anxiety away, especially if she responds positively.
Hey I sympathise with your situation, I was there once. For me I wrote a note as I knew if I tried to just say it, it would never come out, perhaps that is something you could consider. Alternatively another tactic I used later on with some of my friends was to tell there was something I wanted to talk to them about which did enough to sow the seed and get them to prompt me with what it was I wanted to talk about.
If you don't want to say it out loud, there are tons of fun creative ways to come out. When I wanted to come out to my friends, I wore a shirt that said "I'm too shy and bisexual for this..." You just need to do it in a way that you are confident in yourself. And no matter how your parents react, remember that there will always be people there to support you. Believe me, I was in the closet less than a month ago. I'm on the sidelines rooting for you!!!
Thank you, this one helped a lot and is just what I needed! With this and every other reply, I believe I can do it. Tomorrow is the day, for real this time!
The truth will set you free. Easy to say but a lot of courage will be needed to apply the saying. It's only a matter of choices. Maybe some of them know the truth but despite knowing, they still pretending nothing has changed much, they keep waiting for you to let it out and speak for it. Of course, you cannot please everyone they may need time to accept you who you are. So it's a one-time sacrifice and then the burden you've been keeping for so long will all be gone in one moment.
