I came out to my mum last year, and feel so much better for it. I've always been such a private person in regards to who I like, mostly because I am not straight. The rest of my family is as open as you can be, so I feel stiff and frigid in comparison. I'm home from university for the holidays, and I often feel like I regress when I'm with old friend and family. My mum asked me what was going on with a boy I was seeing before, to which the answer is nothing. Then she asked if I like anyone, I lie and say no. And she asked if anyone in the distance catches my eye, and I lie again. Seeming as emotional and sexual as a brick. What I didn't say is that I had a crush on the female shop assistant, I kissed a girl last week, a friend (who is a girl) fancies me and I don't know how to reject her, I am nervous to see a girl that kissed me when I was drunk a while ago at a party next week, and that more people know I like girls and it feels amazing. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just feel like I want to hide when she asks me about my sexuality. I'm 21 yet I feel like a 10 year old. I don't regret coming out to her at all, because I needed to, I was so sad. Maybe it boils down to, if an attractive male shop assistant was helping me and I fancied him, fine. But as it was a girl I feel like I'm perverted in some way. Has anyone felt the same?
Yes, I used to be uncomfortable when she asked me these qustions, mainly because she seemed to try so hard to make the question sound "normal", while she clearly was still awkward about it. She was very politically correct, asking me if I like a girl, a boy or a non-binary person, and if I said I liked a girl, she showed an awkward excitement. She was trying too hard. I know it's much much better than not accepting me, but still I wasn't comfortable talking to her about my female crushes. Now she's mostly over it and gives me the same kind of reaction whether I talk about a girl or a guy. I think that it's best to talk, even if the conversation is a bit awkward at first, for her or for you. Even if it's you, who feel weird about it, it will help you get used to talking about it normally.
